Fitness

RENPHO Smart Body Measuring Tape

$21.24 Amazon »

The RENPHO Smart Body Measuring Tape reminds me of the fitness tests I used to have to take each year during elementary school PE. A timed mile run. Pullups. The Sit & Reach box o' flexibility. And the...for lack of knowing...

Small Business Shoutout: Alchemy 365 Fitness Platform

$19.99 Alchemy 365 »

HIIT the yoga mat. A fitness streaming service with in-person studios in Minneapolis, MN and Denver, CO, Alchemy 365 classes combine intervals of strength building moves with bursts of cardio, and bookend them with a...

ChopFit Chopper Functional Trainer

$89.95 Amazon »

Will you get a load of the legs on ChopFit's Chopper demo dude? Holy functional training axe, Batman, forget ripped, chiseled, and cut! If using the Chopper means I have any hope of building a fortress of muscle like...

STRYK RXT-1 Robotic Striking Coach

$697 STRYK »

Your dreams of being bitch slapped by a robot? Meet RXT-1. He makes dreams come true. A forthcoming "robotic striking coach" from STRYK USA, the RXT-1 mounts to your wall and uses 4 removable padded arms to spar with...

STOIC Active Standing Mat

$169 - $429 monkii »

Are you STOIC enough to work standing on a plank of nails? Cook as your feet and ankles stay active atop a Redwoods forest bed? Home school while balancing on and fidgeting through Flathead River rocks? monkii's STOIC...

Arm Wrestling Trainer

$17.95 - $17.99 Amazon »

Solo arm wrestling. Now there's a hobby I never knew I always needed. More importantly, an Arm Wrestling Trainer might be the perfect quarantine gift for a man...or woman...looking to beef up their hustling skills in...

Finger Weights for Musicians, Athletes & Gamers

Sold Out Amazon »

While these Finger Weights say they increase power, speed, control, reaction time, endurance, and finesse for musicians, athletes, and gamers, I think we can all agree those benefits come well after the very first things...

Cubii JR Seated Under Desk Elliptical Machine

$199.99 Amazon »

The Cubii JR, an under-desk elliptical machine you can use while seated, merges work from home with workout from home, and makes the whole WFH phenomenon:...

My Perfect Neck Strengthener for Neck Pain & Posture

$79 - $108 Kickstarter »

You, sweet thing, are my perfect...neck. From C1 to C7, trapezius to levator scapulae, I wouldn't change a single bone or muscle in your body part. And it's all thanks to the 1 minute a day I spend with this little contraption...

Ghost Pacer Holographic Workout Partner

$229 - $249 Kickstarter »

One thing I suck at is running. So the Ghost Pacer, a mixed reality headset that projects a holographic workout partner to pace, challenge, motivate, and improve your running game, would seem pretty damn cool to me if...

STEALTH Core Trainer - Core & Full Body Gaming Workout

$149 Amazon »

The STEALTH Core Trainer invites you to "Plank and play games!" Hmmm. Change that to "Plank or play games!" and I'm in. I choose play games...

SQUEGG Digital Dynamometer & Grip Strengthener

$109 Amazon »

Know what the SQUEGG reminds me of? Ummm, yeah, but besides a sex toy one might put up their butt? It reminds me of this phenomenon of physics I used to tell people about eggs, wherein if you place an egg longways in...

ExoHinge Resistance Exoskeleton

$75 - $150 ExoHinge »

"You lift, bro?" "Naw, dude, I ExoHinge." The ExoHinge resistance exoskeleton - a much cooler way of saying a wearable, hands-free piece of fitness equipment - is a minimalist solution for people who want to lift weights...

Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine

$1,495 Liteboxer »

Nobody show the Liteboxer to She-Ra: Princess of Power. She just barely crammed a Peloton into our dining room - it's the new head of the table - and I know if she sees this new rhythm-based boxing fitness machine our...

IronMind Twist Yo' Wrist

$56.95 Amazon »

IronMind says its Twist Yo' Wrist will help you treat yo'self with "a new spin on lower arm training." Regular sessions with the fitness companion should build strength, endurance, and muscle mass simultaneously in your...

BlazePod - Reflex Training System

$299 - $399 Amazon »

What's BlazePod? Think whack-a-mole, Simon, and the personal trainer you love to hate. The flash reflex training system combines elements of all 3 - even some of the fun parts - into personal and professional kits designed...

The SHIIT Workout: Get Fit While You Sh*t

$10.99 Amazon »

You've heard of HIIT, right? That's High. Intensity. Interval. Training. Well get ready for some next level shit added to your HIIT. And I'm not just talkin' shit. I'm talkin' SHIIT. Your bathroom reader is about to become...

MoonRun Indoor Aerobic Trainer

Discontinued

I hate running like Jordan hates the Pistons, but even I would be down for a MoonRun. MoonRun is a bungee- and resistance-band-based treadmill alternative for indoor runners that also happens to be completely portable...

Fusion Motion Portable Gym

Sold Out Amazon »

The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram...

Theragun Mini Muscle Massager

$194.95 Amazon »

The one thing missing from my backpack: a jackhammer for my back. AKA the Theragun Mini, Theragun's portable version of their professional-level muscle massager that takes no knot or fascial adhesion prisoners...

Jawzrsize Jawline Exerciser & Neck Toner

Sold Out Amazon »

Dream on, Botox and face fillers, your injectable voodoo is no match for the Jawzrsize! If the product's stellar name didn't clue you in, Jawzrsize is an aerobics class for your mouth, a hands-free fitness tool made to...

Wing Chun Kung Fu Training Ring

$12.99 Amazon »

If everybody wants to have fun tonight, everybody should Wing Chun tonight. Don't know how to Wing Chun? I can help you learn! Haha, sike. I can hardly punch the buttons on my building's elevator without missing a couple...

Penis Weight Set

Discontinued

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

Conquer Adjustable Height Cycling Trainer Desk

Sold Out Amazon »

Adjustable height cycling trainer desk? Looks more like an adjustable height cycling trainer airplane tray table. But for the cyclists I know who are serious about turning their road bikes into stationary bikes so they...