Gear

Pumpkin Scraper Glove

$15.99 Amazon »

When you're sittin' on the lawn, and the pumpkin lid is gone / Be a man, use your hand, Pumpkin Scraper Glove!...

Halo Rise Sleep Tracker, Wake-up Light & Smart Alarm

$139.99 Amazon »

Interesting to wake up this morning to news of Amazon's Halo Rise - wake up the old-fashioned way, from a cat walking across my face, not via a sunrise-simulating wake-up light or smart alarm. And certainly with no hard...

Stack-O-Lantern Pumpkin Stacking Kit

$19.99 Amazon »

These jacks are stacked. The Stack-O-Lantern Pumpkin Stacking Kit invites dudes and ladies young and old to "up your pumpkin display to another level" with their 8-piece set of pumpkin carving tools and jack-o-lantern...

LINNER Nova Bluetooth Hearing Aids for Talk & TV

$179 - $219 LINNER »

Most Bluetooth earbuds help dudes and ladies tune the world out, but LINNER's Nova Bluetooth earbuds help them tune it in. The LINNER Nova is a set of Bluetooth hearing aids that enhance and filter the sounds of voices...

Miracle Melting Witch - Melts Again & Again

$16.99 Amazon »

The Miracle Melting Witch will get you, my pretty...or at least she'll say she'll get you, my pretty, as she melts down into a green-and-black blob with a broomstick again and again...

The Groaning Blobfish

$16.70 Amazon »

Uhhh, I have to get up. Uhhh, I have to go to work. Uhhh, I have to paint my mama's bathroom. Uhhh, I have to eat a meal with my in-laws and uhhhhhhhhh my Aunt Jan. Ain't nobody in need of a Groaning Blobfish more than...

The Pet Nugget

$8.95 - $10.15 Etsy »

Here's a lil' Pet Nugget to remind your lil' pet nugget you love them. Or to make them crave a 6-piece of real McNuggets all day long after you guilt them into keeping the taunting figurine on their desktop or dashboard...

The Not For Climbing Spring-Free Titanium Carabiner

$30 - $36 Kickstarter »

Design The Everything isn't messing around with The "Not For Climbing" Titanium Carabiner. Neither in their nifty spring-free, pin-free design that uses flexure to open, close, and bounce the carabiner back to its original...

Yukon Glory Burger Serving Set

$29.99 Amazon »

The Yukon Glory Burger Serving Set, it's an extravagance, indeed, but a fat-beef-patty-with-melty-cheese extravagance well worth it when you need a gift for your favorite foodie, or your favorite Dad. Yukon Glory has...

Mechanical Mouse Jiggler (So They Think You're Working)

$32.99 Amazon »

This mechanical mouse jiggler is recommended by 5/5 slackers, underpaid employees, people out of PTO who need some TO, and dudes and ladies with a weird compulsion never to let their computers log off or go to sleep...

Halloween Broomstick Snack & Appetizer Stand

$27.60 Amazon »

Don't be a broomstick in the mud, dudes, this Halloween Broomstick Snack & Appetizer Stand is a real clever and charming way to display spooky season treats. And even if you don't want one, it would make a fine gift for...

Craighill Sigma Touch Tool

$30 Craighill »

Hee-hee, hee-hee, I'm not touching you! Hear that, germs, bacteria, viruses, Aunt Jan? I'm not touching you! I'm Sigma Touch Tool-ing you. To protect myself and those I love from the harmful surface microbes found in...

Pumpkin Backflow Incense Burner

$21.99 Amazon »

Now I wouldn't call myself an Incense Dude - I'm more of a Rug Dude, obviously - but I am digging this Pumpkin Backflow Incense Burner as a gift for Halloween. It's countertop-sized, so much more subtle than the 35-Foot...

Micro Smoke Machine

$29.50 Etsy »

Where there's smoke, there's fire, but where there's juuust a little bit of smoke, hopefully there's a Micro Smoke Machine. Creator Wayne Berendhuysen of Wayne's Workshop calls his terrific handheld gadget the Costronica...

MelGeek Pixel LEGO-Compatible Keyboard

$199 MelGeek »

Now here's a way to increase workplace productivity. Ha! The MelGeek Pixel LEGO-compatible keyboard is actually the perfect accessory to a new term and practice I heard about the other day: quiet quitting. It's the process...

10-Foot Inflatable Monster Mouth Archway

Sold Out Amazon »

Do the Monster Mash! Or, let this 10-Foot Inflatable Monster Mouth Archway do it to you - right between his big ol' nubby teeth. ... Six of which appear to be growing sideways out of his cheeks. What a Frankenstein!...

Power Idolz Wireless Charging Docks

$42.99 - $58.22 Amazon »

I don't even know where to begin with Power Idolz Wireless Charging Docks. How about, that they're wireless charging docks is the least interesting thing about them? These "characters" from iconic 70s and 80s movies...

Desk Chair Wrap

It's getting to be that time of year. When the weather turns and desk chairs start getting cold. Perpetually. With ice blocks for hands and feet, no matter how high they insist you jack up the thermostat. No matter how...

7-Foot T-Rex Eating a Human Snack Inflatable

$64.99 Amazon »

Poor bastard flailing in the jaws of this 7-foot T-Rex inflatable. But on the bright side, at least the big, skeletal beast isn't eating you or your kids as a human snack, and now he'll be too full to do it when everyone's...

Vivoo At-Home Urine Test & Wellness Coach

$26.99 - $129.95 Amazon »

I don't need no stinkin' Vivoo at-home urine test and app to tell me what's in my pee. I already know by the smell it's coffee, booze, and, whenever my wife makes me eat vegetables, asparagus...

Inflatable Skeleton Lovers

$99.99 Amazon »

Spooky season is coming up, and these Inflatable Skeleton Lovers - the Boning Bones, if you will - are the perfect front yard decoration to, er, erect if you want to offend and piss off the Karens in your neighborhood...

Damascus Steel Blank Blades

$39.99 - $49.99 Amazon »

Budding knifesmiths can challenge their skills and forge the precise knife they want to EDC or display with these Damascus steel blank blades Poshland Damascus Knives has layered into an array of different patterns and...

Personalized George Costanza Beach Photobomb

$32.99 Etsy »

The original photobomb, credited to George Costanza on Seinfeld Season 9, Episode 7, "The Slicer," can now be yours. And not just yours in the hand, but yours in the face too! Shop Cafe Disco will personalize the iconic...

Dango Permanent Marker

Make your Sharpies look as sharp as they write with the Dango Permanent Marker, a new hard shell for your inky implements from Dango Products' Pen and Capsule collection. CNC machined from 6061 aerospace grade aluminum...