$39.95 - $59.95 Plow & Hearth »

It's a couch within a couch or a chair within a chair for the pooch or kitty within your heart. These pet furniture covers protect your upholstery without relegating your dog or cat to the floor (where they refuse to stay anyway...) and their sewn-on bolsters give them a cozy leaning or chin-propping...

0Gladiator Cargo Net

Gladiator Cargo Net

$144.95 - $540 Amazon »

Armed fighters of the Roman Empire, don't get your panties in a bunch. The Gladiator Cargo Net is not a sheath of heavy-duty weatherproofed webbing with triple-layered reinforced edges made for strapping down one's cargo...

0Full Face Mirror Sunglasses

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses

$15.59 Amazon »

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses are convex configurations of UV-resistant PC panels and UV400 lenses made to protect not just your eyes, but also your nose and mouth, from the blinding and burning rays of the sun. And maybe...

0Floating Motors Classic Car Boats

Floating Motors Classic Car Boats

I'm on a boat, motherf**ker! ... And, huh. Also, somehow, a classic car. ... B**ch! Floating Motors is proposing to transform the style and spirit of iconic cars ranging from VWs to Lambos into electric or standard motor-powered...

0Am I a Dude? (A Little Dudeist Book)

Am I a Dude? (A Little Dudeist Book)

$12.99 Amazon »

Am I a Dude? as a children's book title can have so many connotations these days, but here, my dudes, James Duncan's Little Dudeist Book naturally refers to a kiddo's potential for membership to the "Number One religion...

0Nintendo Switch-Style Pop Bubble Fidget Toy

Nintendo Switch-Style Pop Bubble Fidget Toy

$14.99 Amazon »

This Nintendo Switch-style pop bubble fidget toy might be the coolest low-tech - no-tech, really - gadget I've ever seen. Your kid wants entertainment? Check. Your kid wants to play games? Check. Calm down and relax?...

0Denizen Archetype Smartpod Prefab Office

Denizen Archetype Smartpod Prefab Office

Denizen, I will take one Archetype smartpod, and one chunk of wilderness to put it on, please. Denizen's forthcoming prefab office is a fully-loaded, fully-furnished, 3D-printed remote work space ready for setup in pretty...

0Mason Jar Flip Cap Lid with Handle

Mason Jar Flip Cap Lid with Handle

$9.95 Amazon »

A mason jar flip cap lid. Dude, I know. I don't want that as much as an eleMMent Palazzo Land Yacht, or even a Pool Punisher inflatable tank. Though did you see this mason jar flip cap lid also comes with a handle? Anyway...

0Dan Schaub Designs Masks

Dan Schaub Designs Masks

$300 - $999 Etsy »

Whether you're going for Boo! or Bow down! Dan Schaub's intricate, breathtaking deity masks will make terrified trick-or-treaters or mesmerized loyal subjects out of all who see you wearing one...

0EDC Mini Cleaver

EDC Mini Cleaver

$56 Etsy »

Hungry for a little something? A squab, some nice frog's legs, a hamster, perhaps? This EDC Mini Cleaver from Titan International will see you through the breakdown of any number of small butchering chores. And if you're...

0Beautiful Cities of the World by Trey Ratcliff

Beautiful Cities of the World by Trey Ratcliff

Add some NFbeauTy to your collection with a bid on Trey Ratcliff's Beautiful Cities of the World. The Smithsonian-featured fine artist has traditionally worked in physical artwork, selling pieces to myriad types of collectors...

0Nana Hats Banana Preservers

Nana Hats Banana Preservers

$9.99 - $12.99 Amazon »

Nana Hats, a 2-piece combo of a silicone condom and a crocheted animal or other cutesy item cover, call themselves banana preservers. I call them another banana invention that's, yep, say it with me, bananas...

0Trigger Multi-Caliber Mini Cannon

Trigger Multi-Caliber Mini Cannon

$44.95 - $49.95 Trigger Cannons »

Trigger Cannons are real treats for all you tiny warfare fanatics out there. Tiny warfare fanatics - is that a legit subculture? It's gotta be, right? If we have the furry fandom and competitive endurance ticklers, surely...

0Giraffe Desk Lamp

Giraffe Desk Lamp

$59.99 Amazon »

Giraffe Desk Lamp, you had me at first glance, but I have to ask: why the green shade? I feel like you'd look even more girafferific with an illuminated head made out of the same ash wood as your body. Or at least some...

0Bullbar Freestanding, Folding Pull-Up Bar

Bullbar Freestanding, Folding Pull-Up Bar

$329 Bullbar »

I suck at pull-ups. But at least with the Bullbar, I can save the strength I'd normally expend to assemble, set up, and fight with my wife about how I didn't really ruin the doorway installing a pull-up bar, and direct...

0Penduloz Gravity-Powered Geometric Drawing Machine

Penduloz Gravity-Powered Geometric Drawing Machine

$299 - $550 RD1studio »

Oh boy, the Penduloz is a real-life, gravity-powered machine for drawing my mama's favorite Windows screensaver! Mystify, I believe it was called, and boy did it ever do that to her. Birthday gift for Mama, check...

0Indoor Wheelie Trainer

Indoor Wheelie Trainer

Ready to start poppin' wheelies like a G6? This Indoor Wheelie Trainer - OK, technically DIY Indoor Wheelie Trainer - from The Q fuses a cycling trainer, some wood, and a tie-down strap into a lean, mean trick-teachin'...

0Knox Urbane Pro Mk2 Armored Motorcycle Shirt

Knox Urbane Pro Mk2 Armored Motorcycle Shirt

$318 Knox »

Knox's Urbane Pro Mk2 armored motorcycle shirt was made for going commando! Well, up top, and on the outside, that is. Maybe a better comparison would be to say Knox's Urbane Pro Mk2 armored motorcycle shirt was made...

0Cryosleeve BOA Compression Ice Sleeve

Cryosleeve BOA Compression Ice Sleeve

$99.99 - $119.99 Amazon »

It sounds fancy, but Cryosleeve maker Recoup is quick to point out that the combination of "cryotherapy" and "compression" their pain and inflammation tool provides is really just a nice mix of ice and squeezing tight...

0Amaranth Vase

Amaranth Vase

$39.99 - $59.99 Amazon »

The Amaranth Vase makes taking care of bouquets and floral arrangements way less of a thorn in your side. Uh, though it won't do anything about actual thorns. Be they attached to flower stems, or somehow embedded in your...

0Garrnish Pesticide Purifier

Garrnish Pesticide Purifier

$199 - $299 Garrnish »

Electrolysis. First it saves you from unwanted body hair, and now with the Garrnish Pesticide Purifier, it's gonna save you from unwanted pesticides coating your fruits and vegetables!...

0Alien: The Official Cookbook

Alien: The Official Cookbook

$28.43 Amazon »

Like cooking? Like the Alien movie franchise? Most importantly, like making grotesque images out of your food? Alien: The Official Cookbook has hugged the face and burst forth from the chest of author Chris-Rachael Oseland...

0Jigsaw Puzzle Piece Prosthetic

Jigsaw Puzzle Piece Prosthetic

$12.40 Etsy »

COVID and serial killers have made jigsaw puzzles so popular! The latter, John Kramer from the Saw film series, is the real inspiration behind this Jigsaw Puzzle Piece Prosthetic from Etsy shopt Locked in the Cellar...

0Invisible Glass Reach & Clean Windshield Tool

Invisible Glass Reach & Clean Windshield Tool

$13.47 Amazon »

Now if my Aunt Jan saw a spot on her windshield, she'd lick her finger and aggressively wipe at it until it came off. Even if it were in one of those impossible-to-reach spots where the windshield slopes into the dashboard...