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Sushi Costume

$67.91 Etsy »

Sushi Costume and instant backrest! Even if there's nowhere to sit at the Halloween party, you can lean up against a wall, or pop a squat on the floor against the pillowy comfort of Pop Designers' handmade piece of salmon...

Batwing Shoe Accessories

$36.28 Etsy »

Here's a slightly batty idea for Halloween. Batwings for your shoes! The leather flappers fit over the eyelets of your shoes or boots, and secure with your laces to create a festive vibe during spooky season, or a Goth...

Zombie Hands Resin Ring

$109.80 Etsy »

Rising from the depths of the earth...and your middle knuckle...the zombies are coming! So far, it's just their hands that have popped out of the graves, but just you wait. Where there are resin hands, there are resin...

BOPAI Super Slim Laptop Backpack

$56 - $68 Amazon »

BOPAI Super Slim Laptop Backpacks come sized to fit 15", 15.6", and 17" laptops, with the smaller bags just 3", and the larger just 4" thick. Laptop compartments are lined with soft flannel to reduce interior friction...

Turtle Shell Hat

$164 Etsy »

If you're in the market for a low-key Super Mario Bros. group costume this Halloween, have I got a Turtle Shell Hat for you...

All About the Benjamins Bathrobe

$75.65 Etsy »

How much do you think the All About the Benjamins Bathrobe costs? At printing, it was $75.65. I know, right? A completely lost marketing opportunity and way to make an extra $24.35 per sale!...

Tear Stick to Make Yourself Cry

$20.99 Amazon »

When applied to the rims of the eyelids, the Kryolan Tear Stick generates big fat ones for the likes of actors, drama queens, and people who believe crying will get them out of speeding tickets, or into sold out shows...

Sword Cuff Bracelet

$139.90 Etsy »

Normally, a great warrior wouldn't want to see his sword blade bent and wrapped into a big "O." But in the case of this Sword Cuff Bracelet from Osiris Jewelry, I think, whether viking, medieval knight, or Geralt of Rivia...

7-Eleven Crocs

$50 - $100 Crocs »

The latest sign of the apocalypse? Yes, 7-Eleven Crocs, but not just 7-Eleven Crocs. 7-Eleven Crocs plus the fact that this is the second pair of cloggin' crocs I've written about in the span of a week! In - as the mastermind...

Barbie & Ken in a Box Couples' Costumes

$98.99 Amazon »

And if you need the other half of this Barbie & Ken in a Box Couples' Costumes, go ahead and at Margot Robbie or Ryan Gosling to see if they're down...

Personalized Family Crest Ring

$2,750 Etsy »

I'll pass on wearing my heart on my sleeve, but my family honor on my finger? Yes please, pass me a Personalized Family Crest Ring...

Crocs Crush Boot

$75 Crocs »

Crocs. Gotta love 'em for persisting in existing, and always pushing to stay relevant in the marketplace. Except I still hate 'em. All of 'em, including the new Crocs Crush Boot, which is essentially a more affordable...

Articulated Finger Extensions

$29.99 Amazon »

What comes to mind when you see these Articulated Finger Extensions? Freddy Krueger? Edward Scissorhands? The Nightmare Before Christmas? Your black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen (who, coincidentally, was named Karen before...

Inflatable Bear Suit

$1,480 Etsy »

This Inflatable Bear Suit from Candy Coated Squeaks isn't quite as baffling as the design shop's Inflatable Beach Ball Underwear, but...it's still a little baffling. And still potentially deadly, I'd think, albeit due...

Human Face Baseball Hat

$168 Etsy »

This Human Face Baseball Hat is ready to play ball...with anyone who thinks they can look it in the eye without shuddering. Yeeks. Every time I glance at Sabri Tunca's handmade creep fest, I have to shake it off like...

Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot

$180 Clarks »

Here we go again. Back to school. Into fall. And preparing for weather that will require us to wrap up in quilts, and slip our feet into boots, and, if you're Clarks Quilted Walllabee Boot, wrap up our feet in quilted...

Nail Clippers with Magnifying Glass

$11.99 Amazon »

These nail clippers with a magnifying glass built in are marketed for the elderly, but I think they would be good gifts for anyone who can't see that well, but refuses to wear glasses or contacts. Such as, for example...

Cali Crusher Smell-Proof Roll Top Backpack

$74.99 Amazon »

PSA from the Cali Crusher Smell-Proof Roll Top Backpack: It's back to school shopping time! Using layers of thermo foil, absorbent foam, activated carbon, and polyester mesh, Cali Crusher believes they have created a...

Dick Brake Light Prank Decal

$5 - $8.70 Etsy »

I brake for dicks. No wait, you brake for dicks. At least once I've secured a couple of Dick Brake Light Prank Decals onto those wee red covers on the back of your car. And by you, I mean my friend Cornelius, because...

Recycled Sex Toy Shoes

My foot in your ass doesn't sound so bad when I'm wearing Rose in Good Faith's recycled sex toy shoes, 'eh? Called Plastic Soul, the slip-ons look like a cross between Crocs and New Balance 624 Dad sneaks, neither of...

Saucy Gloss - Applebee's Chicken Wing Sauce Lip Gloss

$18 Winky Lux »

This ain't no Sweet Baby Ray's, Applebee's sauce is the gloss. Applebee's wing sauce and Winky Lux Lip Gloss, to be precise, in this kooky, yet somehow charming, brand mashup in honor of National Chicken Wing Day and...

RM UP-01 Ferrari Ultra-Flat Watch

$1.8 million Richard Mille »

Ultra-flat and ultra-light aren't typically words you'd use to describe a Ferrari, but the RM UP-01 Ferrari Watch still manages to capture the spirit of the brand with its other ultras. An ultra-groundbreaking design...

Clone-A-Willy Penis & Balls Molding Kit

$57.29 Amazon »

And you thought you had run out of good ideas for date night. The Clone-A-Willy Penis & Balls Molding Kit will put your relationship skills to the testes, requiring both partners to perform dick moves to assist one in...

Lucas' Papaw Ointment

$18.40 Amazon »

Don't worry, no grandpas were harmed in the making of Lucas' Papaw Ointment. In fact, the do-it-all skin treatment contains no grandpa parts at all, just natural, antibacterial, antimicrobial, Queensland-grown papaya...