Bread Slippers

While I do love a stuffed bread, biting down on a big toe as I make to enjoy my wife's latest Great British Baking Show creation might turn me off the entire family of loaved products for life. ... Nah, who am I kidding? I'd just start checking for foot parts before digging in the next time.

All that to say, these adorable Bread Slippers also look pretty real! Like two lovely French baguettes that some a-hole has cut a chunk from in the most a-holic way possible. One vertical cut halfway down from the top, and one horizontal cut halfway in from the middle, leaving both the butt bottom for someone else, and an unnecessarily high surface area of bread to go stale in the next 5 minutes. You know, dudes, bread normally makes my blood sugar spike, but staring at these Bread Slippers is making it boil instead!

So to recap, Bread Slippers are: 1) cute and whimsical; and 2) deceptively inedible and maddening. Sounds like they'd make a great gift for all the people you love and all the people you hate this holiday season!

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