Fitness

STOIC Active Standing Mat

$169 - $429 monkii »

Are you STOIC enough to work standing on a plank of nails? Cook as your feet and ankles stay active atop a Redwoods forest bed? Home school while balancing on and fidgeting through Flathead River rocks? monkii's STOIC...

Arm Wrestling Trainer

$17.95 - $17.99 Amazon »

Solo arm wrestling. Now there's a hobby I never knew I always needed. More importantly, an Arm Wrestling Trainer might be the perfect quarantine gift for a man...or woman...looking to beef up their hustling skills in...

Finger Weights for Musicians, Athletes & Gamers

$34.99 Amazon »

While these Finger Weights say they increase power, speed, control, reaction time, endurance, and finesse for musicians, athletes, and gamers, I think we can all agree those benefits come well after the very first things...

Cubii JR Seated Under Desk Elliptical Machine

$272.62 Amazon »

The Cubii JR, an under-desk elliptical machine you can use while seated, merges work from home with workout from home, and makes the whole WFH phenomenon:...

My Perfect Neck Strengthener for Neck Pain & Posture

$79 - $108 Kickstarter »

You, sweet thing, are my perfect...neck. From C1 to C7, trapezius to levator scapulae, I wouldn't change a single bone or muscle in your body part. And it's all thanks to the 1 minute a day I spend with this little contraption...

Ghost Pacer Holographic Workout Partner

$229 - $249 Kickstarter »

One thing I suck at is running. So the Ghost Pacer, a mixed reality headset that projects a holographic workout partner to pace, challenge, motivate, and improve your running game, would seem pretty damn cool to me if...

STEALTH Core Trainer - Core & Full Body Gaming Workout

$149 Amazon »

The STEALTH Core Trainer invites you to "Plank and play games!" Hmmm. Change that to "Plank or play games!" and I'm in. I choose play games...

SQUEGG Digital Dynamometer & Grip Strengthener

$48.97 Amazon »

Know what the SQUEGG reminds me of? Ummm, yeah, but besides a sex toy one might put up their butt? It reminds me of this phenomenon of physics I used to tell people about eggs, wherein if you place an egg longways in...

ExoHinge Resistance Exoskeleton

$75 - $150 ExoHinge »

"You lift, bro?" "Naw, dude, I ExoHinge." The ExoHinge resistance exoskeleton - a much cooler way of saying a wearable, hands-free piece of fitness equipment - is a minimalist solution for people who want to lift weights...

Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine

$1,495 Liteboxer »

Nobody show the Liteboxer to She-Ra: Princess of Power. She just barely crammed a Peloton into our dining room - it's the new head of the table - and I know if she sees this new rhythm-based boxing fitness machine our...

IronMind Twist Yo' Wrist

$54.95 Amazon »

IronMind says its Twist Yo' Wrist will help you treat yo'self with "a new spin on lower arm training." Regular sessions with the fitness companion should build strength, endurance, and muscle mass simultaneously in your...

BlazePod - Reflex Training System

$299 - $399 Amazon »

What's BlazePod? Think whack-a-mole, Simon, and the personal trainer you love to hate. The flash reflex training system combines elements of all 3 - even some of the fun parts - into personal and professional kits designed...

The SHIIT Workout: Get Fit While You Sh*t

$10.99 Amazon »

You've heard of HIIT, right? That's High. Intensity. Interval. Training. Well get ready for some next level shit added to your HIIT. And I'm not just talkin' shit. I'm talkin' SHIIT. Your bathroom reader is about to become...

MoonRun Indoor Aerobic Trainer

Sold Out Amazon »

I hate running like Jordan hates the Pistons, but even I would be down for a MoonRun. MoonRun is a bungee- and resistance-band-based treadmill alternative for indoor runners that also happens to be completely portable...

Fusion Motion Portable Gym

$117.99 Amazon »

The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram...

Theragun Mini Muscle Massager

$199 Amazon »

The one thing missing from my backpack: a jackhammer for my back. AKA the Theragun Mini, Theragun's portable version of their professional-level muscle massager that takes no knot or fascial adhesion prisoners...

Jawzrsize Jawline Exerciser & Neck Toner

Sold Out Amazon »

Dream on, Botox and face fillers, your injectable voodoo is no match for the Jawzrsize! If the product's stellar name didn't clue you in, Jawzrsize is an aerobics class for your mouth, a hands-free fitness tool made to...

Wing Chun Kung Fu Training Ring

$12.99 Amazon »

If everybody wants to have fun tonight, everybody should Wing Chun tonight. Don't know how to Wing Chun? I can help you learn! Haha, sike. I can hardly punch the buttons on my building's elevator without missing a couple...

Penis Weight Set

Discontinued

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

Conquer Adjustable Height Cycling Trainer Desk

$139.95 Amazon »

Adjustable height cycling trainer desk? Looks more like an adjustable height cycling trainer airplane tray table. But for the cyclists I know who are serious about turning their road bikes into stationary bikes so they...

Canadian Spa Company 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa

Sold Out Amazon »

Canadian Spa Company's 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa is large enough to fit 17 people, but ain't no way that's happening anytime soon. Of course, neither is a thrice-weekly lap swim at the gym. Or an early-bird water workout...

Dimok Aqua Bag - Workout Sandbag Filled with Water

$74.95 Amazon »

Even when we are allowed outdoors again the Dimok Aqua Bag, a sandbag-style fitness tool you fill with water instead, seems like a fitness companion you might want to keep in your back pocket. First, when not filled the...

Bodyweight Exercise Cards

$24.99 Amazon »

Even if you don't have a lot of workout space in your home, I'll be you have room for these 2 things: a deck of cards; and your body. Bodyweight Exercise Cards invite you to hit the deck with mix-and-match fitness sessions...

Sling Shot Original - Weightlifting Strength Band

$62.70 Amazon »

The Sling Shot Original is kind of a weightlifting spotter and trainer in one. The kind that helps you bench 10% to 15% more than you normally would. The kind that stabilizes your form and reinforces proper technique...