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And you thought an NES console couldn't get any sexier. Bexar Goods has taken tech skins to luscious leather levels, wrapping a classic Nintendo Entertainment System in premium buck brown harness leather from Wickett...

According to the Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers, live people ignore the strange and unusual. But [creepy distant expression and eyeroll] I, myself am strange and unusual. Therefore, I shall draw...

Ugly Christmas Face Masks. Oh for the love of the Baby Jesus do I hope that next Christmas we can look at these Pop Funk pandemic PPE creations and say, "Ugh, those are so 2020."...

Wonder what happened to create this ugly Christmas sweater. Is Santa spit roasting a reindeer because his sleigh crashed a week ago and no one has responded to his SOS calls, or because he's just hungry and Mrs. Claus...

Let everyone know how you're faring this year with a Personalized Glowing Life Bar Pin. The horizontal health meters charge up in sunlight, and then glow neon green in the dark at your choice of Full Life, Mostly Alive...

These sneaks are Vans...with a twist. Sorry, it's been a long week. Vans UA Classic Slip-On Twist Sneakers dangled some low-hanging literary fruit in front of me, and I just grabbed it. Ate it right up. Toss the leftover...

Rudolph Mankini, reporting for sleigh-driving, eye-popping, nut-hugging duty! Christmas suit meets birthday suit in this jolly, Borat-approved (and sexy-time-ready!) men's thong. Ownership of the Rudolph Mankini means...

It's too late to order the King Kong Hand Halloween costume for 2020 Halloween - especially since girl-gripping gorilla getup has to ship all the way from Australia. But for those who need a last-minute costume for a...

Elo + My Favorite Peelow = Me Lo...aded Up with an At-Home Hot Stone Spa Experience. Me lo...ving the feel of thermotherapy that doesn't cost $150 and hour. Me lo..athing the sound of my alarm buzzing me away from my...

See that notch on the KATANA personal safety smartphone wallet? And the tab the lady is pulling on to draw something out of the back of the cardholder? Guess what it is. Nope. Not a katana. Not a sword at all. It's a...

My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, is not a fan of Reebok's Ghostbusters Ghost Smashers Shoes. They contain a word in their titular description that P's her right O: "Men's." On the store page for the Ghostbusters collab...

#BreathableBacon and the Hormel bacon-scented face mask it refers to are, surprisingly, one of the least surprising hashtags and products of 2020. Honestly, the sexy (and elusive! More on that later.) Hormel Black Label...

The best part of the Jetpack Pick Me Up, an inflatable jetpack costume from Morph, is that it says "Acme Jetpack" on the side. Shout out to Looney Tunes!...

Why do my burger & fries taste like cardboard? Actually, it's more like...poly-cotton yarn. Better wash it away with my beer - ugh! My beer tastes like sweaty feet! What is this, Heineken?...

Looks...squid-shy. A 9' tall inflatable squid Halloween costume is going to make a lot of things about life difficult while you're wearing it. Dancing. Sitting down. Walking through doorways. Dude. Peeing or pooing. Better...

Oh, don't tell me you weren't expecting a Sexy Mail-In Ballot Halloween Costume for 2020. You had to know, more than any other year in recent memory, this one was going to bring the cringers, eye rollers, and stomach...

Adidas' Adilette Clogs are the quarantine baby you never knew you...never wanted...

One good way to let everyone know you were a NASA Apollo program astronaut is to wear an Alpha Industries Apollo MA-1 Flight Jacket. And if you weren't a NASA Apollo program astronaut? Well. Look at all the dudes who...

Tetra Soap is here to ruin the ol' drop a bar of slippery soap in the shower joke: this tetrapod-shaped sudser swears to be 100% slip-free when you use it...

"I am Groot! I have his suit!" But this time, instead of sacrificing myself to save the Guardians of the Galaxy, I will die of financial ruin for what I just spent on my Halloween costume. No regrets, though, this handmade...

The Dad Hoodie. Guess it wouldn't have been a good marketing move to portmanteau those words for this men's zip-up with 6 internal pockets for stashing all Daddy's baby gear into...The Doodie. Nah, probably not...

The Baby Yodas in Amazon's limited edition The Mandalorian The Child 6-Pin Set have something poking out besides their ears. No! You dirty minds! Metal skewers soldered to each of their backs, so you can flair up your...

Launch Vitamin D, CoQ10 & CBD missiles! For all your tough pills to swallow, here's the Torpedo Pill Holder, an even tougher container to carry them in. Made of aerospace aluminum, the projectile-shaped piece of EDC is...