Ninja Turtles Beanie
If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose the beanie for everyone. Because at least if a lady is wearing this Ninja Turtles hat of stealth and cowabunga, I will definitely see it. Whereas with the bra, given the bodacious implications catching a head-on glimpse carries, the chances I would ever meet it face to face, or even gain the knowledge she has it on, are more in the 0% to 5% range. So while I do love the idea of Donatello on the boobs, the fact that I am far more likely to interact with Donatello on the head forces me to give the TMNT beanie higher marks. A+ to the knit & crochet combo.
Ninja Turtles beanies are convertible, with a movable eye mask sewn onto the hat base. Slide it down over your eyes when you don't want anyone to see you renting The Notebook from Redbox, and back up across your forehead when your eyelids start sweating and developing a polka-dotted rash. Masks come in Donatello Purple, Raphael Red, Michelangelo Orange, and Leonardo Blue. Please specify head size during order, especially if you've got a big ol' melon head like this guy I used to know my freshman year of college whose noggin was so disproportionately large everyone called him Headquarters. Or this other guy whose head was not only large, but also bald and kind of tapered inward as it moved down toward his cheekbones. We called him Bulb. Another dude had man boobs. His name was Tits.