Denim Thong Underwear
I particularly like that the Denim Thong Underwear have the words, "Do what you love" printed on the right side of their wearer's crotch. Inspiration, and motivation, for ladies who might wonder if they should be having so much sexy time, as well as a notification to their sexy time partners that they best love what they're about to do, and follow it up with a sparkly, finger-sized indication of that love in the near future, or the next time the pants come off, instead of the Denim Thong, they'll find a pair of Lord of the Rings Underwear instead.
I know. I just spent 100 words discussing the Denim Thong Underwear, and didn't even get to how delightfully redneck they are yet! Who needs a gag gift for a lady? Or a legit gift for the maybe-lady, maybe-not, but definitely newly single MTG? And why stop at the ladies? Would Florida's and California's fine beaches not become even finer with a Denim Thonged DeSantis and Newsom
frolicking campaigning frolicking in their sand and surf?
And if you don't like the idea of denim rubbing up against your sensitive bits, don't worry. The underwear are denim in appearance only, but really made with polyester and Spandex, and sewn with flat seams, soft edges, and no elastic bands or labels.