Realistic Human Thumb Tacks

$16.99 Etsy »

Stay organized...even if you're all thumbs with a set of Realistic Human Thumb Tacks from This Is Michie's Shop. The push pins are hand-sculpted from polymer clay, so no actual human thumbs were harmed in their making...

Mm-mm-mm, I've officially made it halfway through the alphabet in my series of gift guides that start with letters of the alphabet. Welcome to the letter M, and 21 gift ideas that make the most of this magnificent letter...

n.o.w. Tone Therapy - Yoga for Your Mind

$179 Amazon »

Want 30 minutes' worth of meditation in 3 minutes? Want it n.o.w.? Solu's New Origin Waveform Tone Therapy feels you, and hopes to make you feel better, with their n.o.w. "Yoga for Your Mind" sound-based calming, centering...

How to Read Minds 2 Kit: Ellusionist x Peter Turner

$99 - $149 Ellusionist »

The How to Read Minds 2 Kit is a collaboration between magic store Ellusionist and magic master Peter Turner that will teach anyone how to command a room. Silence skeptics. Wow friends and family. Stun Karen so hard she...

Nite Ize SlapLit LED Slap Wrap

$11.19 - $15.99 Amazon »

Neon colors that glow even brighter with LEDs. Haphazard criss-crossy line design. Slap bracelet functionality. The Nite Ize SlapLit LED Slap Wrap is 1990s safety and visibility at your service! Don't forget the braided...

LITO Foldable Suitcase

$417 - $457 Amazon »

On the left we have Lito before Dallas Buyers Club and on the right we have Lito during filming for his Oscar-winning role. ... Bad joke? Wrong spelling of "Lito?" Yes and yes, dudes! But if this dude is anything, it's...

Pelican Marine Series Waterproof Floating Phone Pouch

$24.99 - $29.99 Amazon »

The Pelican Marine Series Waterproof Floating Phone Pouch is available in Olive Green, Stealth Black, and - are you ready, Mama? - Garden Party Blue. Flowered, feminine, and perfect for all the times you drop your phone...

Heated Windshield Ice Scraper

$16.99 Amazon »

This Heated Windshield Ice Scraper looks like a SkyMall especiale! (RIP SkyMall, at least from the skies. I've heard you can still shop their 1980s-era gadgets online.) And you know what that means: gift for Dad, ordered...

Tell Me Without Telling Me Game

$12.96 Amazon »

"Tell me without telling me..." You've seen the prompt - the "game," I suppose - on Reddit, TikTok, Twitter, whatever other social media platforms the cool cats are using and this dude is trying to get rid of these days...

Goblies Play Paint Goo for Water Guns

Sold Out Amazon »

Goblies Play Paint Goo Play Paint Goo-ifies any squirt gun or water blaster. The tubs o' fun are filled with colorful and tactile substances that will enhance any water battle and - good news for the parents dealing with...

Waterfall Kitchen Sink

$379.99 - $399.99 Amazon »

Give your dirty dishes and unwashed produce the spa treatment with this Waterfall Kitchen Sink. The back of the stainless steel insert is fitted with a sweet twist on the sprayer, a row of tiny nozzles that eject water...

E166: What Is This Thing?

$14.98 Amazon »

Welcome to Edition 166 of What Is This Thing?, my recurring visual riddle series consisting of one simple photo - see above - and one simple question: what is this thing?...

Cognitive Biases Wall Poster

Oh how I love to read about cognitive biases to see all the ones that apply to my father-in-law, my Aunt Jan, and my black-hearted ex-girlfriend Karen...

Shargeek See-Through Portable Charger

Sold Out Amazon »

I see what you're doing here, Shargeek. I mean, it's hard not to with the see-through shell around your STORM2 portable power bank revealing all its inner workings and charging capabilities...

Gifts for your love (Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife, Leg Chains), gifts for your lust (Lorals Latex Panties), and gifts for your little penis (Lightsaber Willy Warmer, Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book.) LOL!...

Randimals Stuffed Animals

$34.95 Amazon »

Hark! It's a Hork! Randimals Stuffed Animals are huggable mashups of our finest furry, feathered, scaled, and cartilaginous friends. Above you see the Randimals Hork, one possible outcome of a horse mated with a shark...

The Orgasmic Must-Have For Every Man's Bedroom

$209 Mystery Vibe »

From MysteryVibe: This is the one accessory you will want to wear on your penis. It's an unbelievably good time. Kiss performance anxiety goodbye with MysteryVibe's new Tenuto 2, the world's first male vibrator designed...

Yippee Ki-K, it's the other "Kuh" sound, and 16 gifts celebrating it. You kooky kids enjoy! And you kantankerous Karens not down with Kong Beer Bongs and Krapp Strapps, shove it up your...well. Please refer to Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts That Start with C...

NEIKO 4-In-1 Folding Utility Knife

$13.99 Amazon »

The NEIKO 4-In-1 Folding Utility Knife reminds me that even though multi-tools aren't all the rage like they were circa 2015 when Leatherman debuted their Tread, they can still be solid pieces of EDC with, as their name...

3D Christmas Tree DIY Soldering Practice Kit

$12.59 - $25.99 Amazon »

Last year you made the kids help decorate the Christmas tree? This year, make them build it. This DIY Soldering Practice Kit is a basic electronic project for STEM learning and budding makers that will produce a flashing...

Juicy, Jim, Jedi, Just, and JAG kick off my roundup of 18 gifts that start with "J," and Jeri, JoGo, jelbows, and Juego do Domino close it out. In the middle? A Judy and a Bruce...

Death By Toys Parody Playsets

$25 - $60 Death By Toys »

Death By Toys Parody Playsets are here to slay your White Elephant and Dirty Santa parties this year thanks to one dude, and one dude alone. Dan Polydoris calls himself a "one-man action figure boutique," and from conception...

Santa Frozen in Carbonite Christmas Ornament

$15.95 Amazon »

Ho, ho, h-oh no! Santa Claus has gotten himself into a Carbonite pickle! He might survive as Han Solo did, but wasn't Han also frozen up in the stuff for, like, a year? Bad news, kids. I wouldn't waste my time with cookies...

I've compiled 16 gifts that start with "I," but don't worry. Only one of them starts with "i." And it's an iParody, not another expensive Apple device, or internet-based smart home product that's going to be a bitch to set up, and stop working every time your WiFi has a hiccup. My goal was to give...