Bacon Flavored Lube
/Bacon-Flavored-Lube-1413.jpg "Bacon Flavored Lube")
When we, collectively as Americans, stumble onto something that catches on with the unintelligent majority, we immediately begin the process of running it into the ground. See: The Kardashians, Myspace and... bacon flavored stuff. And, while bacon does have a perfectly salty taste and enticing aroma, it's getting more than a little hacky to flip out over the increasingly annoying bacon flavored products. Hopefully, with the entrance of lube into the fold, we've reached the point of ridiculousness that not even the simple-minded will further tolerate... although I'm constantly surprised at their threshold.
If you're still not quite there yet, then try a bacon flavored chocolate bar or some bacon flavored candy.
Bacon Condoms
Bill Gates, you put out an open call. You asked for the "next generation" in condoms. A design that will revolutionize safe sex practices by making the peen sheaths more desirable to wear. Men and birth control in third...
55-Gallon Barrel of Lube
The most disturbing thing about a 55-gallon barrel of lube is not so much that it's a flippin' 55-gallon barrel of lube, but that a 55-gallon barrel of lube costs over $2,000. I mean, I know people want to have this sort...
/tenga-easy-beat-egg-mens-36736.jpg?mode=crop "Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices")
Tenga Easy Beat Eggs - Men's Portable Pleasure Devices
You know what they say: if you can't beat the egg, let the egg beat you. At least that's what I'd guess they say around the Tenga Easy Beat Egg production line. From the same Tenga that brought you the Flip Hole male...
/tactical-bacon-6897.jpg?mode=crop "Tactical Bacon")
Tactical Bacon
I don't really like to shoot to kill--less due to the ethics of felling a majestic beast than the fact that blood and rigor mortis make me squeamish--but I think if given the choice between taking down a deer or taking...
/shibari-lube-launcher-21917.jpg "Shibari Lube Launcher")
Shibari Lube Launcher
The Shinbari Lube Launcher. XL. In blue. That's seven-and-a-half inches of long and strong silicone jelly (or even, according to one reviewer, organic coconut oil) reservoir ready to facilitate pleasure and alleviate...
Whiskey Dick Lube
Who likes the taste of whiskey? OK, all men put your hands down. Now? Hmmm, all women over the age of 40...no, I'll go 50...and with the exception of Christie Brinkley...put your hands down. So that leaves, what, like...
/18-champion-gifts-for-people-52735.jpg?mode=crop "18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast")
18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast
If you know someone who champions breakfast (i.e., the most important meal of the day.) If you know someone who's a champion breakfast eater (i.e., won the Baconfest World Bacon Eating Championship.) If you know someone...
Bacons of the World Sampler
I would call Belcampo's Bacons of the World quarterly sampler pork crack, but in this case, I think it would allude to an entirely different--yet still likely very tasty--part of the pig, rather than the addictive, euphoria-inducing...
/bacon-express-crispy-bacon-25681.jpg "Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill")
Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill
Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB...
/eazy-mealz-bacon-rack-tray-60675.jpg?mode=crop "EaZy MealZ Bacon Rack & Tray Set")
EaZy MealZ Bacon Rack & Tray Set
I'm not sure if bacon qualifies as a whole MealZ, but it is definitely EaZy to prepare with this Bacon Rack & Tray Set. And if you disagree - about the whole MealZ part, that is - be sure to get the XL size of the brand's...
/not-vanilla-club-adult-toy-36672.jpg?mode=crop "Not Vanilla Club - Adult Toy Subscription Box (NSFW)")
Not Vanilla Club - Adult Toy Subscription Box (NSFW)
I don't think it's by chance that all of Not Vanilla Club's adult product subscription plans cost some amount of dollars and 69 cents. A ssssssexy price for a ssssssexy service...
Bacon Soda
At this point, the bacon craze has reached a state of lunacy that renders bacon soda somewhat expected. Pedestrian, even. Still, there are smoky, greasy meat flavors, and then there are CARBONATED smoky, greasy meat flavors...