The CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth

Dudes, have you yet to accept the wonder and benevolence of bidets into your hearts? If so, I've got something to, shall we say, sweeten the pot for you. The CleanShot. A bidet that rinses and dries your junk, and then snaps a professionally-lit, hi-res photo of it from a totally unique and exciting angle! Get ready to send the ultimate dick pic to your lady, or introduce yourself to your swipe-rights and favorite Instagram influencers with dick pics that truly sparkle!

Who's down to get #BidickPic trending on Twitter?

Or how about #NoWipeAllSwipe?

#AustralianSelfie?

You know, the selfie down under.

Now, now ladies, and other possessors of female genitalia, don't get your panties - or what's underneath them - in a bunch over these dick pic comments. Rest assured, the CleanShot is an equal opportunity bidet and photo booth. It will pamper and photograph your XX parts with the same proficiency and enthusiasm it devotes to the XYs, so you too can share flap snaps across your network and dating apps.

Instantly, using the CleanShot app!

The CleanShot App

The connected app also gives you a live camera view of what's under the seat, so you can shift and lean to select the best position before taking a photo. Or video. Or maybe you just want to see the CleanShot's cleanse-and-polish techniques in action. Or maybe you want to live stream it all for people who still don't understand or appreciate the hygienic (no more touching pee and poo parts), economic (no more buying toilet paper), and environmental (no more flushing toilet paper) benefits of bidets. The CleanShot delivers the assist on it all.

Does the app have filters and editing features, you ask? Of course the app has filters and editing features!

Other CleanShot Features & Applications

In addition to creating genital art, the CleanShot can also detect and provide readouts of sought-after bodily data, such as:

• Size / length of a particular portion of your photo;
• Precise Pantone color match of various undercarriage areas;
• And, if you opt for the CleanShot water displacement add-on, the answer to the question no dude or lady can deny wanting to know: how many pounds did I just drop with that deuce?

If you're not interested in hands-free post-toilet cleanup and taking crotch selfies (i.e., if you're still lying to yourself) consider two practical, and what could prove to be crucial, applications of the CleanShot. Telemedicine and pregnancy.

Imagine the value photos, videos, and live streams from the CleanShot could add when you've got, uh, "something going on down there," and need to get a closer look. Or show it to the doctor on the other end of your video appointment.

And, pregnant ladies, all those metrics the CleanShot can collect? That includes measuring how dilated you are, saving you a trip to the hospital if it's still only 2cm, and encouraging you to grab your go-bag and skedaddle if it's pushing 5.

Whether you're single, married, into hygiene, into selfies, feeling sick, or feeling like it's time to push, the CleanShot Bidet & Photo Booth has just one question for you: Are you ready for your closeup?