If You Can Read This Dog Tag
If you can read this I will lick you. A simple metal disk turns dog collar banality into dog collar hilarity. But how many people take the time to rifle through a dog's tags in search of potential witticisms? I think this fair warning etched in aluminum would have an even better effect hung from a chain around the neck of a two-year-old child, an old person with dementia, or someone high on E.
I'd also like to find the next generation of engraved dog tags - the ones that say If you can read this I will sick you and If you can read this I will lick my balls and then lick your face.