11-Foot Teddy Bear
/11-foot-teddy-bear-24505.jpg "11-Foot Teddy Bear")
- Emio Mix-Monsters White Kitten Headphones - $22.49
- Steiff Studio Life Size Male Lion - $4,933.82
- 8-Foot Purple Teddy Bear - $378.99
- 5-Foot Teddy Bear - $127.11
- Teddy Bear Earmuff Headphones - $21.99
If you plan to buy an 11-Foot Teddy Bear as a gift for your kid, or gift for your girlfriend this season, I hope you have an 11-Foot closet...or off-site storage facility to hide him in until the big day. Better lock the stuffed giant up too, because judging by the photo this Teddy is the Papa Bear sort who's going to try to bust out and hunt down kids and girlfriends to console and give advice to.
There, there, Kimiko, turn that frown upside down. This fella isn't worth your tears and heartache. And I hate to pull out the tough love card, but if he's giving you an 11' Teddy Bear instead of an engagement ring, he's not worth any more of your time either.
Hey! Screw you, Teddy! If I wanted a bear to trash me, I'd have gotten a Talking Ted!
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
Cute Ass Animals Underwear
Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...
/freshly-baked-muscular-bear-61642.jpg?mode=crop "Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread")
Freshly Baked Muscular Bear Bread
I don't know which sounds worse: eating a bear; or eating a bear that's so jacked with muscles its flesh cooks all tough and rubbery. What's that? Try it raw? ... Uh, no. Cat sushi, maybe, but I draw the line at bear...
Anatomical Gummi Bears
This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for...
Griz Coat
I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking...
Animal Hoodies
Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair...
Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified
Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent...
Big Sleeping Grizzly Bear Bean Bag
Although this grizzly bear won't tote you around on his back and serve as your mystical forest companion, chances are he also won't eat you when you plop down on or dive bomb him while he slumbers. Because this is a Big...
/feisty-pets-25024.jpg "Feisty Pets")
Feisty Pets
These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...
/pdw-versa-bear-travel-bottles-59504.jpg?mode=crop "PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottles")
PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottles
B**ch better have my...shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Honey, soy, and sriracha too, if you opt to use the PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottle set for condiments and sauces on a gourmet camping trip, or to stock your AirBnB...
Anti-Bear-Attack Pack
Obviously the best thing to do when a grizzly is attacking you is punch it in the face or, if you're a lady, kick it in its twig & bear-ies. But if for some reason when the moment comes you can't remember how to make...
R-Rated Talking Ted
Why do people always diss Mark Wahlberg? He makes such quality movies with filthy-mouthed talking teddy bears. And from forth the cinematic masterpiece that was that Ted comes the plush masterpiece that is this Ted. A...
Grizzly Bear Underwear
I know grizzly bears are meant to connote fortitude, ferocity, and...bigness...in a reverential way, but, uh, I'm pretty sure these grizzly bear underwear are intended only for dudes who don't want blowjobs. They could...