The Easy Fermenter Starter Kit
The Easy Fermenter Starter Kit reminds me of how I could eat kimchi by the jar. And sauerkraut. And I would too if my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, didn't at best crinkle her nose, and at worst make gagging sounds and shouted commands to, Get that pubescent teenager feet-smelling shit out of here! every time I bring some home and open it up.
I'm guessing fermenting my own cabbage with a system of lids, weights, a vacuum pump, and mason jars isn't going to go over much better.
The Easy Fermenter Starter Kit lids all have waterless airlock valves that allow carbon dioxide to escape, but prevent oxygen, mold, and bacteria from infiltrating your growing colony of bacteria and vegetables. The included weights ensure veggies stay submerged in their brine, and have thick grooves built in to facilitate placing them in and retrieving them from the mason jars.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/3d-fruit-vegetable-37932.jpg?mode=crop "3D Fruit & Vegetable Comforters")
3D Fruit & Vegetable Comforters
Banana comforter, lettuce quilt, potato blanket, cool. I'm down with the optical illusions imparted by most of this 3D fruit and vegetable bedding. But, uh, I think I'll pass on the papaya. Give that one to a horny teenager...
/pickle-bandages-62310.jpg?mode=crop "Pickle Bandages")
Pickle Bandages
Got a boo-boo? Why slap on a boring beige bandage when you can turn that frown upside down with a pickle? Yes, you heard that right - BioSwiss Novelty Bandages are here to add a little brine and shine to your scrapes...
/pickled-boobs-butts-jars-33243.jpg?mode=crop "Pickled Boobies & Butts Jars")
Pickled Boobies & Butts Jars
Boobies and butts, butts and boobies! Now pickled for your gustatory pleasure!...
/mcdonalds-quarter-pounder-42715.jpg?mode=crop "McDonald's Quarter Pounder Scented Candle Pack")
McDonald's Quarter Pounder Scented Candle Pack
Huh. I woulda thought scented candles would be something they'd make to cover up the smell of McDonald's Quarter Pounders in your home. But I guess that's if you're making candles for wives and mamas who don't want aromas...
/freeze-dried-dill-pickles-53556.jpg?mode=crop "Freeze-Dried Dill Pickles")
Freeze-Dried Dill Pickles
Freeze-Dried Dill Pickles are poppable, crunchable, addictive, and ready to desiccate your body and burn a hole through your esophagus when you end up eating the equivalent of 4 jars of regular pickles in a single sitting...
Pickle Juice Sport Drink
Don't worry. No cucumbers are harmed in the making of Pickle Juice. This briny sports drink is simply packed with pickling ingredients and flavors, plus a few other functional vitamins and minerals, that its creators...
/bic-special-edition-lighters-43477.jpg?mode=crop "BIC Special Edition Lighters")
BIC Special Edition Lighters
BIC Special Edition Lighters are like the frosted Lucky Charms of smoking paraphernalia. Neon green pickles! Scooter-riding T-Rexes! Nebula-drifting tacos! Angelic grinning beavers! They're magically auspicious!...
/brami-high-protein-low-carb-47534.jpg?mode=crop "BRAMI High-Protein, Low-Carb Pickled Lupini Beans")
BRAMI High-Protein, Low-Carb Pickled Lupini Beans
Bean, beans, the magical fruit, they're now keto-friendly, but they'll still make you toot. BRAMI calls their Lupini Beans the "Italian snacking bean," touting the slippery pickled legumes' 0 net carbs and 9 grams of...
Pickle & Bacon Candy Canes
Pickle and bacon candy canes. A good start, indeed, but now we need flavors hamburger, ketchup, and cheddar. And maybe bun, though if the former requests were met, I would be willing to break my Christmas sticks into...
/fridgefork-condiment-fork-30464.jpg?mode=crop "FridgeFork Condiment Fork")
FridgeFork Condiment Fork
Eating straight from the jar approved! The FridgeFork condiment fork is simultaneously going to piss off and please my fiancee. She'll be irritated that Chef'n has developed a utensil that encourages me to stand with...
/small-business-shoutout-47585.jpg?mode=crop "Small Business Shoutout: Ellenos Real Greek Yogurt")
Small Business Shoutout: Ellenos Real Greek Yogurt
Somewhere between sour cream and Heaven lies Ellenos Real Greek Yogurt, the best yogurt - one of the best things, period - I ever ate. Actually, the Seattle small business deems its probiotic dairy perfection, "The Yogurt...
/viome-at-home-gut-microbiome-38320.jpg?mode=crop "Viome at-Home Gut Microbiome Test")
Viome at-Home Gut Microbiome Test
I'm not sure I really need a Viome at-Home Gut Microbiome Test to give me an "accurate gut analysis." I can pretty much look in the mirror and figure out the most important things about mine: it's a little too soft and...