New England Hot Dog Bun Pan
Am I the only one who's never heard of a New England hot dog bun, and therefore a New England Hot Dog Bun Pan? WTF is this? It looks like vertically challenged bread, or angel food cake someone flipped over too early after it came out of the oven. I know New Englanders like to deviate from well-established standards (Fluffernutter sandwich, anyone?) but an inside-out hot dog bun - or I guess it's more like an inside-out-and-inside bun? That's bananas! No. That's banana hot dogs!
Or maybe I'm banana hot dogs. A quick Wikipedia check indicates the New England-style hot dog buns, also known as top-loading hot dog buns, actually predate the buns - side-loading buns - we consider traditional today. Basically, New England hot dog buns are split down the middle and stuffed from their tops, while the ones most of us are accustomed to get the same treatment along their sides.
In theory, it doesn't seem that weird. And in fact, if you were to buy some uncut, say, Ballpark Buns and simply put the cut on the top instead of the side, people might ask if you're sure you should be in charge of the dogs when you're drunk, but the effect wouldn't be quite as disconcerting as that of this New England Hot Dog Bun Pan. Which essentially bakes squat slices of bread and masquerades them as hot dog buns. Rectangular brick buns, without the trademark brown pillow dome arcing over the top.
No, no thank you. 2020 was weird enough with learning to WFH and wear a face mask every time I go out. I can't allow 2021 to impose new hot dog buns.
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