Octopus End Table
/octopus-end-table-23819.jpg "Octopus End Table")
- Seaside Octopus Pewter Bottle Stopper - $12.36
- Drinking Octopus Wine Bottle Holder - $20.45
- Octopus Lantern - $154.08
- Octopus Salt & Pepper Shaker Set - $11.62
- CounterArt Monterey Bay Octopus Absorbent Coasters - $13.89
Good evening, Sir, I am Mr. Belv-octo-dere. Humbled to be at your service. Yep, that's right. This octopus wants to be your table. He wants to balance your beer and slices of MeatZZa perfectly level all day, all evening, and, when you decide passing out is more important than cleaning up, all night long. Day in. Day out.
Until.
Until the one day he decides to go all Lovecraft on your ass and you wake up to your final, strangled breath of life. Just enough time to realize cephalopods should swim free in the ocean as majestic creatures of the water, not sit frozen in the living room as your 8-legged manservant.
But if you're willing to risk it, the Octopus End Table is made of aluminum and stands 22-1/2" tall x 25-1/2" wide x 24-1/2" deep.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/fletcher-capstan-worlds-56982.jpg?mode=crop "Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table")
Fletcher Capstan - World's Coolest Expandable Table
World's. Coolest. Not an understatement. Take 10 seconds to watch the Fletcher Capstan expandable table video, and the rest of the day off work to recover from your blown mind. Or maybe you'll disagree that the mesmerizing...
/swing-convertible-table-31455.jpg?mode=crop "SWING Convertible Table & Shelf")
SWING Convertible Table & Shelf
The SWING convertible table-to-shelf is magic! Not quite Fletcher Capstan magic, but still a pretty sweet design from EVE Collection, especially for those with limited space for furniture...
Working Nintendo Controller Coffee Table
What holds feet, beer, and the controls that will drive your world-record-setting Tetris score? Feast your eyes on the fully-functional Nintendo Controller Coffee Table. Charles Lushear has entwined old school entertainment...
Float Levitating Table
Oh holy balls, it's a Rubik's Cube with the structural integrity of a marshmallow. In laymen's terms. In technical terms, the Float table is "a matrix of 'magnetized' wooden cubes that levitate with respect to one another."...
/octopus-headphone-wall-hanger-61562.jpg?mode=crop "Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger")
Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger
Guess how many pairs of headphones you can hang from the Octopus Headphone Wall Hanger. ... Wrong! Not eight, but nine. Nine over-ear headsets will fit on M3is3D's rockin' octo, because the pink 'pus is an audiophile...
/in-case-of-cabinets-14337.jpg "In Case Of Cabinets")
In Case Of Cabinets
In case of a zombie, vampire, werewolf, or demon emergency take this tiny sledgehammer, break the glass, and prepare to fight for your life. Or run like a girl while tossing Holy Water over your shoulder. In Case Of cabinets...
Subwing - Underwater Hang Glider
You know those dreams you have when you're flying, spinning, disoriented, or drowning? They're all about to come true. At once. The SUBWING underwater glider attaches to a rope and boat at one end, and your death grip...
/unleash-the-kraken-male-42200.jpg?mode=crop "Unleash the Kraken Male Vibrator (NSFW)")
Unleash the Kraken Male Vibrator (NSFW)
While we normally think of the kraken as wielding tentacles of asphyxiation and death, what if in fact the giant squid is all about pleasure? What if his tentacles, as they appear willing and able to do in this male vibrator...
JAG Communal Grill Table
I don't really want a JAG Grill for myself. I mean, it's a lot of money and seems like a lot of work to put together and maintain, and then you have to, like, clean it... But I am very much in favor of someone I know...
/the-abyss-table-13242.jpg "The Abyss Table")
The Abyss Table
I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg...
/kotatsu-heated-table-24782.jpg?mode=crop "Kotatsu Heated Table")
Kotatsu Heated Table
Do you have to be a girl to want one of these super-cozy-looking Japanese Kotatsu? Do you have to be a girl to use the term "super-cozy-looking?" Oh well then. Call me a big ol' girl and send me a big ol' heated blanket...
Interactive LED Tables
I hope anyone who has one of these nifty Interactive LED Tables also has a few gallons of disinfectant on hand, because the two primary modes of interaction I foresee with their pressure-sensitive, illuminative surfaces...