Taco Holder Butt Plug
Grab a Taco Holder Butt Plug and run for the b...ack door. I should be all Borat "I excite! I excite!" about Etsy shop Glow F**k Yourself's fetish toys - sex and tacos might be my two favorite things on Earth. But somehow a Taco Holder Butt Plug resonates as an unhappy paradox for me. Like how combining two really awesome things can sometimes make the result one of the worst, rather than one of the best, things ever. Flip-flops and skiing, for example. Mustard and ice cream. Your wife and your girlfriend.
Plus it's like, if my wife is wearing the Taco Holder Butt Plug, I get to eat the taco, but I don't get to wear the butt plug. (And don't even get me started on the guilt trip I'd get about which taco I choose to eat.) But if I'm wearing the Taco Holder Butt Plug, then it's my wife who gets to eat the taco. Unacceptable!
Not to mention I know as soon as she's done she's gonna be all, "Oh I'm really full and bloated now, and my stomach's gassy...I'm just not in the mood anymore."
The point of all this being, you better think twice before you buy a Taco Holder Butt Plug, because as the proverb goes, you can't have your butt plug and eat your taco too.
It would make a delicious Dirty Santa or gag gift though.