Food

NUDE Breath & Gut Mints

$27.99 - $38.99 Amazon »

Freshen your dry, acrid mouth, plus the churning belly action causing it, with NUDE Breath & Gut Mints. The dual-action pellets promise to relieve your body and its exhales of mask breath, coffee breath, odiferous food...

VELVEETA Veltini Kit - DIY Cheese Martini

$49.95 Goldbelly »

Of all the gross applications of otherwise fine foods, the VELVEETA Veltini Kit is definitely...one of the better ones. Cheese, olives, vodka, vermouth, and, and Jumbo VELVEETA Shells & Cheese?! I mean, sure, it looks...

Freeze Dried Pepperoni Pizza

$10 Etsy »

Wood-fired pizza ovens, I see your 800-degree temperatures and crispy crusts, and raise you minus-100-degree temperatures and crispy crusts, crispy cheese, crispy pepperoni, and crispy tomato sauce! Freeze Dried Pepperoni...

Culinary Perfume - Edible Fragrance & Ice Cream Topping

It's gonna cost you a helluva lot more than hot fudge, sprinkles, and Old Spice, but Salt & Straw's Culinary Perfume, an edible fragrance and ice cream topping, is sure to be the foodie gift of the year. Or at least of...

SNACKLINS Low-Calorie Vegan Pork Rinds

Sold Out Amazon »

Airy, crunchy, salty, and I can eat the whole bag in under 100 calories. SNACKLINS attacklinned my mouth a couple months ago, and I surrendered with joy...

8Greens Daily Greens Lollipops

$15 Amazon »

According to 8Greens, one 8Greens Daily Greens Lollipops contains as much Vitamin C as 2 oranges, Vitamin B5 as 15 cups of broccoli, Vitamin B6 as 15 cups of spinach, Vitamin B12 as 7 cups of milk, and zinc as 3 cups...

Mother's Day Kentucky Fried Buckquet

By: KFC »

The Kentucky Fried Buckquet, available between May 1 and May 3, 2022 to honor Mother's Day, isn't as cool as it sounds. Which is unfortunate, because it sounds awwwesommme...

Smokehouse Ultimate Grilling Spice Set

$39.99 Amazon »

Thoughtfully says their Smokehouse Ultimate Grilling Spice Set is "inspired by profound flavors from around the world." And while I'll admit that is certainly a statement that seems to have been written...thoughtfully...I...

IMWELL Roasted Sweet Potato Bars

Sold Out Amazon »

A sweet potato energy bar? Sounds yammy! I mean, yummy! I mean yammy and yummy!...

Cadbury Dairy Milk Egg 'n' Spoon with Oreo Filling

Sold Out Amazon »

Oooh, Cadbury is laying an O-R-E-G-G right in our laps this Easter. Their Cadbury Dairy Milk Egg 'n' Spoon line sees a sizable fowl fetus filled with, not creme, not caramel, not a baby chicken, but Oreo filling!...

KFC 11-Course Degustation Dinner

A tasting menu for the ages, or for the eyerolls? The Kentucky Fried Chicken Degustation, an 11-course dinner featuring KFC's most iconic menu items, is taking reservations for a run in...Sydney, Australia? Not Louisville...

Tyson 2.0 Mike Bites - Cannabis Gummy Ears

Mike Bites. Now this is the kind of earful I'd take gladly. No real human body parts or nagging from my mama required with Mike Tyson's cannabis gummy ears, just a chill night and better sleep. And a bit of glee sinking...

Ujjo Hot Sauce for Coffee

$15 - $28 Ujjo »

Mama Mia, that's a spicy m-...cup of coffee? Ujjo hot sauce for coffee is here to spice up your morning brew. In a good way, if you agree that Lauren D'Souza's hours of experimenting and taste testing during quarantine...

ChoClits

Why does this ChoClit taste fi-...naaah, I'm not gonna say it. Especially since ChoClits seller Firebox has already done one better than I ever could with their description of what I'm sure is a generally genitally delicious...

Meepo MealCubes

Meep MealCubes see SquarEat's Food Block Meals, and raise them...gummies. Another quick, dirty, and preternaturally preservable way to get your daily nutrients, Meepo MealCubes pack their protein, carbs, fat, vitamins...

Cake Push Pops

$99.95 Williams Sonoma »

Cake Pops, you're out. Cake Push Pops...Get! In! Mah! Belly! I'm not even a rainbows 'n' sprinkles kind of dude, but these stacked, spongy Roy G Biv treats from Flour Shop are making me all Veruca Salt levels of covetous...

Freeze-Dried Dill Pickles

$10.89 Etsy »

Freeze-Dried Dill Pickles are poppable, crunchable, addictive, and ready to desiccate your body and burn a hole through your esophagus when you end up eating the equivalent of 4 jars of regular pickles in a single sitting...

Best D*ck Ever Box of Chocolates

$39.99 Etsy »

A Best D*ck Ever box of chocolates. Handmade from the finest Belgian beans. Dudes, receiving a gift like this is how you know you've chosen well in life. The person gifting you this supreme compliment wrapped in a tasty...

Fire Dept. Coffee

If you're skeptical about how much firefighters know about coffee, at least consider how much they know about staying awake. Fire Dept. Coffee is a bean brand developed and produced by active and retired firefighters...

Seligo Bean-to-Cube Unrefined Dark Chocolate Cubes

$27.90 Amazon »

Seligo Dark Chocolate Cubes aim to be as poppable as M&Ms, without all the corn syrup and Red Dye No. whatever. In fact, Seligo calls their chocolate "bean to cube" (a play on "bean to bar" and, presumably, "farm to table")...

Twix Shakers Seasoning Blend

Sold Out Amazon »

Twix Bars pulverized into a seasoning blend of chocolate, caramel, and cookie? Uh, can the Twix Shakers Seasoning Blend run in 2024? It might not know much about the economy, the law, the world in general, but what politician...

Mushroom Trio Grow Kit

$59.99 Amazon »

Forest Origins guarantees you can grow your own mushrooms with their Mushroom Trio Grow Kit or they'll provide a full refund. Well, Forest Origins, first challenge of 2022 accepted. But you do realize in making this guarantee...

Lyre's Non-Alcoholic Spirits

Dry January. Fun times. What's that, Lyre's? Your non-alcoholic line of spirits is going to remove the sarcasm from those statements? Alright, purveyor of booze-free gin, whiskey, rum, tequila, liqueurs, and aperitifs...

Brew Glitter - Edible Wine & Cocktail Glitter

$11.95 - $12.95 Amazon »

Brew Glitter. Dude. I have enough trouble getting glitter out of my house, my clothes, my - shiver - car if ever it encounters them, and now? Now? You're asking me to put myself in a position where I have to get glitter...