Cereal Motel Adult Cereals
/cereal-motel-adult-cereals-26532.jpg "Cereal Motel Adult Cereals")
Cereal Motel has a slightly different take on "adult" cereal than Fiber One and unfrosted Mini Wheats do. It's a take I like a whole, whole lot more than whole grains and improved bowel movements. Cereal Motel makes "deliciously inappropriate cereal for grown-ups." And, yes, the image on the cover of their box of Booty Pops is indeed a nod to the infamous Kim Kardashian nude shoot for Paper Magazine. And also Catwoman. Perhaps a suggestion to whomever casts the next Batman movie.
Can we pause on that for a minute? Kim Kardashian as Catwoman. Alright, whether you just vomited or jizzed in your pants, let's get cleaned up and back to our dirty cereal.
Maybe even better than Cereal Motel's Booty Pops, Porn Flakes, Vice Krispies, and Sugar Tits is the prize they'll mail to you if you cut out and collect tabs from any 10 boxes: a tray of Kissing Cups, to-go coffee cups with human face lids you can rated-R make out with as you guzzle your morning coffee and mow down on some adult cereal.
Sexy TRON Outfit
Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...
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10 Images I Can't Believe Are Allowed on Amazon (NSFW)
And I mean very NSFW. I mean, it's not like I came across* these 10 images I can't believe are allowed on Amazon because I was searching for porn, boobies, or sex toys on Amazon. I was just minding my own business, perusing...
/sexy-gifts-for-that-special-41604.jpg?mode=crop "Sexy Gifts for that Special Someone (NSFW)")
Sexy Gifts for that Special Someone (NSFW)
Some gifts are best left to Santa. But sexy gifts, especially sexy gifts for that someone special, those gifts are Baby Jesus territory all the way...
TRON: Legacy Siren Gem Bodysuit
Sadly, this bodysuit covers more skin than the TRON corset, but since it's made out of stretch fabric instead of 12-gauge plastic, it does allow for increased mobility during re-enactments of the movie's action sequences...
/dreamfarm-flegg-egg-flipper-62353.jpg?mode=crop "Dreamfarm Flegg Egg Flipper")
Dreamfarm Flegg Egg Flipper
I once got an egg from a friend of a friend who raised chickens in his yard. I cracked it to cook it, and there was a bunch of blood inside. That sucked. But with the Dreamfarm Set of 2 Flegg Flip & Serve Egg Rings, even...
/ladobi-erotic-film-earphones-14681.jpg "Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones")
Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones
If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...
SEXCEREAL
SEXCEREAL is the most ingenious display of product spinning and effective branding I've seen since I was 18 months old and my mama transformed spoonfuls of pureed peas into airplanes. Actually, it's even better because...
/virtual-mate-virtual-intimacy-37272.jpg?mode=crop "Virtual Mate Virtual Intimacy System (NSFW)")
Virtual Mate Virtual Intimacy System (NSFW)
Get your 55-gallon barrels of lube out, dudes, because Virtual Mate is about to unleash some very slick new technology. Forget gifts for your girlfriend, this hyper-realistic VR sex game for your PC, laptop,
/et-sexy-gifts-for-the-57653.jpg?mode=crop "18 Nice Gifts for the Naughty (NSFW)")
18 Nice Gifts for the Naughty (NSFW)
And by "nice gifts," I mean "sexy gifts," and by "naughty," I mean...you and yours, dudes and ladies! All of yours. Some assless yoga pants for your girlfriend. A spiraling male masturbator for your single brother. A...
/flegg-flip-serve-egg-ring-61465.jpg?mode=crop "Flegg - Flip & Serve Egg Ring")
Flegg - Flip & Serve Egg Ring
I think the Flegg's functionality is very cool - it's an egg ring that allows the user to flip and serve fried eggs easy-peasy, with no broken yolks, no misplacements on the plate, and no unwanted encounters with the...
Raunchy Wrapping Paper (NSFW)
Raunchy Wrap R-rated wrapping paper reminds me of something my lyrical hero Ludacris once said during his guest vocals on Usher's smash hit dance track "Yeah": "I want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed." This...
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Sexy Santa: 20 Naughty Gifts for Your Partner (NSFW)
I came up with this Sexy Santa collection of 20 Naughty Gifts for Your Partner after my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power, ix-nayed my inclusion of an item called Candy Nipple Tassels in my roundup of 29 holiday gifts for...