Brisket Candy Canes
Sorry, family, we can't afford a beef tenderloin this year, but may I offer you one of these Brisket Candy Canes instead? Archie McPhee says he cooked them "low and slow," so they're probably nearly as good as a succulent, buttery roast sous vided to a perfectly-medium-rare 135 degrees. I mean, the first two ingredients in the Brisket Candy Canes are sugar and corn syrup, so how can they not be?
Plus, as McPhee also points out, Brisket Candy Canes also contain all the brisket-y flavor, but none of the connective tissue texture, so you won't have to wrestle with how to get that hard, rubbery bit out of your mouth and under your napkin while sitting at the dinner table with your girlfriend's entire extended family the first time you've gone home with her for the holidays.
Well, I mean, if they're serving brisket instead of tenderloin for Christmas dinner, who cares what they think of you anyway?
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