Brisket Candy Canes
- Hot Dog Candy Canes - $9.95
- Sour Cream & Onion Candy Canes - $9.57
- Lemonhead Candy Canes - $6.99
- Froot Loops Candy Canes (2 Boxes) - $17.87
- Sardine Candy Canes - $9.94
Sorry, family, we can't afford a beef tenderloin this year, but may I offer you one of these Brisket Candy Canes instead? Archie McPhee says he cooked them "low and slow," so they're probably nearly as good as a succulent, buttery roast sous vided to a perfectly-medium-rare 135 degrees. I mean, the first two ingredients in the Brisket Candy Canes are sugar and corn syrup, so how can they not be?
Plus, as McPhee also points out, Brisket Candy Canes also contain all the brisket-y flavor, but none of the connective tissue texture, so you won't have to wrestle with how to get that hard, rubbery bit out of your mouth and under your napkin while sitting at the dinner table with your girlfriend's entire extended family the first time you've gone home with her for the holidays.
Well, I mean, if they're serving brisket instead of tenderloin for Christmas dinner, who cares what they think of you anyway?
In addition to ye who are skipping the beef, Brisket Candy Canes are here for stocking stuffers and white elephant gift givers this holiday season.
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