Zombie Apocalypse Charm Jewelry
/zombie-apocalypse-charm-8377.jpg "Zombie Apocalypse Charm Jewelry")
My Zombie Apocalypse plan is to collect things like hand grenades and hacksaws and tins of beans, and then collect them all in miniature charm versions to wear on a bracelet or necklace. Like, so I can show them off handily around town in case the Zombie Apocalypse never comes. I mean, I totally believe it will, because I am a man of faith, but it's kind of frustrating how I just keep accruing all of this weaponry and survival gear and the only opportunity I've ever had to use it is this one time my friend Constantine and I went camping and we thought the rumbling moans and growls outside our tent belonged to a bear so we grabbed our Tactical Tomahawk to fight it and our Tactical Bacon to use as a distraction, but when we opened the flap to charge we saw the noises were just a product of his Toto dog Ezekiel humping a marmot.
Anyway, Etsy vendor PlayBox has fabricated some Zombie Apocalypse charm bracelets and necklaces for immediate display and use. No waiting around for ZDay required. The Zombie Plan bracelet (and necklace) includes silver and brasstone metal, acrylic, and clay resin charms of:
- Weapons. Assault rifle, shotgun, revolver, hand grenade, bullet.
- Food & Water. Bottle, canned beans, canned fruit.
- Tools. Knife, spanner, hammer, pliers, hacksaw, axe.
- Essentials. Cell phone, radio, binoculars, jerry can, matches, first aid kit, lantern, torch, map, compass (functional).
The Zombie Hunter bracelet includes:
- Assault Rifles. Bayonet, machine gun, shotgun, hand gun, bullet.
- Crossbow & arrow.
- Grenade.
- Combat knife.
/zombie-apocalypse-survival-kit-2822.jpg "Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit")
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit
Are you prepared to fight for the survival and integrity of family, friends, and the human race in apocalyptic combat with the ambulatory dead? In other words, do you want to buy a 7-piece set of gut-ripping knives and...
/50-pearl-laden-oysters-10720.jpg?mode=crop "50 Pearl-Laden Oysters")
50 Pearl-Laden Oysters
Simultaneously the most thoughtful and disgusting gift a girl could ever get. Each of these 50 freshwater oysters is guaranteed to have a real, 6mm to 7mm round akoya pearl inside. But here's the catch: uh, the pearls...
/et-of-the-most-expensive-43731.jpg?mode=crop "11 of the Most Expensive Things for Sale on Amazon")
11 of the Most Expensive Things for Sale on Amazon
I tried to curate my collection of 11 of the most expensive things for sale on Amazon not just according to their cost, but also their substance, how well they present, whether or not I looked at their price, read their...
Z.E.R.O. - Zombie Apocalypse Kit
OK, zombiologists, conspiracy theorists, slaves to sci-fi, and keepers of the Boy Scout motto, it's time to put your $24,000 where your mouth is. OpticsPlanet has assembled a stunning and formidable sprawl of zombie apocalypse...
Life Armor Disaster Shelter
The recent, tragic path of Hurricane Sandy reminds us that disaster planning shouldn't just be relegated to theoretical discussions and jokes about Zombie Apocalypses. Seikoh's Life Armor Disaster Shelter can accommodate...
Firearm-Mounted Axe Heads
Since The Walking Dead started again, I've been thinking I need a new zombie-decimating weapon for use in my daydreams about stuffing them with bullets and hacking off their heads. Melee Mods' Tact-Axe and Gatchet should...
Buddha Beads Self Defense Necklace
Huh. Not sure how Buddha would feel about people co-opting his peaceful name and beads of spiritual exploration and meditation to make a necklace for whacking an attacker upside the head. But I can kind of see where Phoenix...
/LED-Eyelashes-851.jpg?mode=crop "LED Eyelashes")
LED Eyelashes
These are aptly named. An ingenious piece of technology wrought from Asian women's desire to have larger eyes, these seem more fit for the drug-and-urine-splattered concrete floor of the next rave in Omaha, Nebraska...
/steel-self-defense-bracelet-28571.jpg "Steel Self Defense Bracelet")
Steel Self Defense Bracelet
Self defense or self-inflicted injury? Swingin' 'round this full steel bracelet like a chain whip without really knowing how to swing 'round a chain whip, it could really go either way...
/the-accuser-ring-with-blinking-60692.jpg?mode=crop "The Accuser Ring with Blinking Opal Eyes")
The Accuser Ring with Blinking Opal Eyes
J'accuse! this humanoid ring and its opal eyes that actually blink of...being awesome. Made by Levon Kevorkian and sold through his Internal Affairs jewelry studio, The Accuser Ring will tell everyone you meet that your...
/zelda-poe-soul-in-a-bottle-6747.jpg?mode=crop "Zelda Poe Soul in a Bottle Necklace")
Zelda Poe Soul in a Bottle Necklace
If I killed dead a being of pure hatred and encapsulated it in its lantern, I'd take the rupees from the Poe Collector for it rather than let it dangle from my neck so dangerously close to my heart. Sure Poe Souls can...
Coonan Triple Threat Apocalyptic Kit
When I think of Coonan, I think first of .357 Magnums. But a close and immediate second is zombie and vampire slaying. And now I'm wondering if the firearms manufacturer and I have a psychic connection. I'm wondering...