On guard! This valiant knight is armed with the plush cotton 2-plys that will defend the honor of your innocent underwear from the nefarious infidels of your excretory orifices. I bet his pecs and delts are enormous under...

My grandma used to like to call people she was pissed at turkeys, so this knit Turkey Hat holds a special place in the nostalgic part of my heart. If a lady wore this I wonder would it still be inappropriate to ask to...

The Godfather. Like drinking beer with your bros, the phrase "That's what she said," and John Stamos, it never gets old. And now you too can play Don Corleone to your favorite (or most despised) Jack Woltz--minus the...

Mom and Dad are going to love it when I pass these Chocoshots out to the kiddies on Halloween. German company Zotter makes the syringes filled with mankind's greatest culinary invention from organic, fair-trade ingredients...

A one-person all-terrain vehicle that doubles as a personal watercraft. I don't like these studious, clinical terms for the Quadski, which is better described as a fat amphibious wad of adrenaline with a BMW engine. Gibbs'...

Cataclysmic events, such as earthquakes and alien attacks, always seem to go down when I'm relaxing with the morning paper, drinking a cup of coffee. So being the industrial, perpetually prepared fellow that I am, I have...

It seems that until the rest of us figure out how to consistently conquer and defy gravity like David Blaine, floating objects will enjoy a comfortable niche in the market of cool crap. Floating mugs, floating lamps...

The story never changes: in all successful relationships, communication is key. When another human being makes you feel thankful, it is important to express that gratitude. And what better way to say "Thank you" than...

The WizDish is on a quest to make virtual reality and first-person gaming even more active and interactive without incurring costs prohibitive to 98% of the people who enjoy virtual reality and first-person gaming. The...

Good news, Ralphie Parker. The whole point of the Mace Pepper Gun is to shoot an eye out. Using patented Bag-in-a-Can technology--ooh, that sounds...the opposite of intimidating--the pistol's system enables loaded cartridges...

The Mosler RaptorGTR compares itself to the Bugatti Veyron SuperSport and Lamborghini Aventador. But only to point out that, in terms of power-to-weight ratio, it is better than both of them. (Though in terms of marketing...

How is Glowing Alchemist Helm Mask creator Nathan Rodriguez living in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi and not Hollywood? Or inside a Jean-Pierre Jeunet film? All of his leather designs are inventively conceived and impeccably...

Lamps and nightlights no longer have the corner on the lava market. Jockimio's Liquid Lava Tabletops comprise two sheets of polycarbonate sandwiching pleasingly vivid hues of liquid that swirl and lumber to the touch...

Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair...

I've been holding out with the Soap Flakes. Hoping that designer Nathalie Staempfli would put the wall-mounted and handheld bar-soap-grinding devices into production and sale before I posted them here. Every day I handle...

Normally, I would admire these pieces of armed taxidermy as simple, wondrous fusions of guns and dead things, created by a mind that exists on a much higher plane of superbly twisted ideas than mine, and leave it at that...

Historically, birds have been used to do a lot of man's dirty work. Roosters wake our lazy behinds up. Doves and carrier pigeons battle the elements to deliver our correspondences. Canaries sacrifice their lives alerting...

Emokis will make your ears perk up. Or droop down. Or wiggle back and forth. All based on your emotions, as transmitted via your brainwaves to a Necomimi headset sensory device attached to the furry animal audibles. Yes...

Romain Jerome's DeLorean-DNA timepiece isn't just some highfalutin gimmick intended to make me sad I do not possess $17,200 American dollars. Wait, yes it is. And it's working. Because not only do the watch's rhodiumed...

These aren't just Gummi Army Guys. These are 5 pounds of Gummi Army Guys. If I ate all of them, I would be 5 pounds heavier. Until I projectile vomited faster than the speeding bullets the GIs are ammo'd up with, at which...

I guess I can kind of see now why some people are turned on by goats. Oonacat's Demon Hooves, a pair of spiked, knee-high boots with cloven foot pads in place of typical toes and heels are pretty sick. I mean in the good...