Anti-loneliness Ramen Bowl

Miso Soup Design, bad move releasing photos of the Anti-loneliness Ramen Bowl before you have actual Anti-loneliness Ramen Bowls to sell. Now everyone wants one, everyone is pestering you to buy one, and the bowls' target...

Lip Chaser Liquor Buddy

Discontinued

Don't be too disappointed that Lip Chaser shot follow-ups contain no alcohol. Your shot will still have plenty of it, and Lip Chasers replace the booze with something much, much better: making out. An edible coating applied...

The Ham Dogger

$12.84 Amazon »

My friend Dominic is an electrical engineer who used to work for this company developing a chip to implant in the brains of epileptics that would help predict when they were going to have seizures, and if I had one of...

Piston Bookshelf

$550 Etsy »

I've always thought Suzuki motorcycle pistons would make a great bookshelf, and here's proof in the form of a Suzuki motorcycle piston bookshelf. Matt Johnson handmakes each one with Spanish cedar and aluminum and needs...

Dog Overalls

$39.95 - $79.99 Amazon »

The list of items people inexplicably buy for their pets just keeps getting longer. I can't imagine any dog--even a neutered dog--forcibly suited up in a pair of Hurtta's canine overalls not spending every second thereafter...

Hennessey Venom GT - World's Fastest Hypercar

$1.2 million Hennessey »

Earning the title of World's Fastest Hypercar...available for consumer purchase...means hitting a top speed of 265.7 mph at the United States Naval Air Station Lemoore in Central California, and claiming to still have...

Light 'n Go Bonfire Log

$9.29 Essay Group »

Any man with a little hair on his chest can chop wood, but how many of you care to take the time to carve snowflake patterns into your logs such that they alight more dependably and burn with greater efficiency? Light...

The CoCoPen

Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen used to be the best scent on the planet but then they changed the formula and now it just smells like all other sickly sweet girl things that are acceptable only because they are attached to...

Unbreakable Slugger Umbrella

$199.95 Amazon »

Look at that dude standin' on his umbrella! Aw snap, he just wailed on an 80-pound heavy bag with it. Holy crap, now he used it to hack up a watermelon! That's sufficient enough evidence for me to believe the Unbreakable...

Hairy Chest Sweater

$61.34 Firebox.com »

What sucks is that you're either blessed with a dense thatch of chest hair or you're not. There's no cultivating it, no sprinkling of fertilizer that will encourage it to grow. The only legitimate option for those bereft...

Portable Hoseless Misting Fan

Discontinued

I recently got an email from a fan that said, "I hate to be HOT." Hahahaha, get it? A fan that hates to be hot. Actually, I just noticed that hilarious pun after I wrote it. I really did get an email from someone telling...

Magnetic Field Candlesticks

From forth the brilliant Magneto mind of Dutch designer Jolan van der Wiel comes another player in his Gravity series of magnetic field creations. Candlestick formation employs the same machine van der Wiel built to create...

The Doorganizer

Discontinued

First of all, I am in no mood for cutesy plays on words this morning so Doorganizer, minus one point. Second, the main thing about organization tools that help you not forget stuff is that you have to remember to use...

Custom Wood Vespa

A few years ago, Portuguese carpenter Carlos Alberto became the Best Dad in the World--not just an imposter Best Dad in the World who wears the T-shirt and flashes the mug--when he carved his daughter Daniela a Vespa-styled...

Insta-Luck - Authentic Four-Leaf Clover

Sold Out Etsy »

Hell yes I could use some good luck. And the Insta-kind that requires no patience or input on my part would certainly be preferable. But my question is: do these four-leaf clovers that purportedly reverse misfortune...

Stinky Gaming Footboard

$99.99 Stinky »

As the MYO and LEAP eliminate computer mice and keyboards for the hands, SteLuLu Technologies introduces a new gaming apparatus for the feet. Used in tandem with finger controllers, the Stinky Footboard adds one more...

Mario Industrial Pipe Lamp

Discontinued

The lamp is a 1" black iron pipe and its fixture is a vintage recycled glass insulator and the Mario hovering above the decorative green pipe is the light pull! Sweeeeet! Mama! I need to borrow 199 dollars. And 35 cents...

Alice in Wonderland Caterpillar & Hookah

Sold Out Etsy »

Needle-felted Absolem, blue, hookah-sucking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, you look a little too real for me. If I got high I would definitely try to converse with and befriend you. I might do that even if I weren't...

Paper Shooter Kits

Sold Out Amazon »

The Paper Shooter snipers at Bang Creations know that when it comes to pastimes, nothing beats blasting things up to 75 feet. Particularly when the outcome of doing so averts death, injury, and getting yelled at by your...

Paratrooper Tactical Mountain Bike

$895 Montague »

Montague collaborated with DARPA to develop its Paratrooper, a high-speed, all-terrain tactical mountain bike that folds at the turn of a lever into a 3' x 3' pack in less than 30 seconds. Obviously, it was specked for...

Periodic Table Cutting Boards

$45 Etsy »

From chemistry class I remember something about diatomic elements and noble gases, but mostly I remember that my teacher wore a tie-dyed lab coat and I could always see this one girl's lacy bras when she would bend over...

Life-Size Minecraft Creeper

Discontinued

Personally, I'd be opposed to cuddling with one of these Creeper SOBs, but maybe Minecraft fans who have better reconciled the differences between pixelated computer screen graphics and real life will appreciate the whimsy...

Cleatskins

$13.12 - $29.95 Amazon »

Cleated feet rejoice. Cleatskins eliminate the need to take your shoes off or get yelled at for clacking and scratching the hardwood floor every time you leave the field, track, or pedal. Also, they deliver traction that...

Firefly Blue Laser Lamp

Discontinued

I grew up with fireflies. And by that I mean I grew up squashing them and rubbing their bioluminescence on my arms and legs so I too could glow like a superhero or anomaly of evolution. I never saw any blue ones though...