Household

15-Minute Meat & Vegetable Vacuum Marinator

$169.75 Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

The Toad Sofa

You can kiss the Toad Sofa if you want, ladies, but remember: fairy tales and wishes always seem to have a catch. The prince might turn out to be this. Or, worse, this...

Quaffer Double Bubble Layered Shot Glass

$9.98 Amazon »

It was Jimmy Quaffa's destiny to design the Quaffer double bubble layered shot glass. Because "Quaffer" isn't just a play on Jimmy's name, it's an actual, dictionary-defined noun. One that probably existed long before...

Shark Hologram LED Night Light Lamp

Discontinued

If they'd given Joseph an Amazing Technicolor Dream Shark instead of a Dream Coat, this holographic LED lamp is probably what it would have looked like. It would've been a way better gift too--I bet Joseph's brothers...

LINE-X Virtually Indestructible Coating

LINE-X protective coating supports a habit--no, not a habit, that suggests it's a bad thing. LINE-X protective coating supports a grand tradition I've established of extolling the bludgeoning, impaling, pulverizing, and...

Dino Lamps

Holy extinct species, Batman! Is that a Diplodocus on your nightstand, or have you just been shopping at Toys in Babeland again? Dino Lamps ignite the night, and all the dark crevices of your living space (except those...

Overbed Work Desk & Table

$84.99 - $94.99 Amazon »

Awww, too sick to get out of bed? Better call the office and tell them you won't be in...but you'll be online in 5 thanks to your sweet little double-wide (or queen, or king--it's adjustable!) workstation on wheels, the...

Better TV Viewing Beer Mug

$10.99 Perpetual Kid »

Like the Viking Beer Horn Glass, the Better TV Viewing Beer Mug gives you every reason to pick up your pint for a sip, and then keep on sipping 'til the last hoppy drop is gone. In the mug's case, the strategy isn't so...

Dyson Cinetic Big Ball Self-Righting Vacuum

Sold Out Amazon »

Dyson has always been known for sucking hard and long. And their new Cinetic Big Ball vacuum contains 36 Dyson Cinetic tips that separate the microscopic dust they say clogs other vacuums, and upholds the company's never-lose-suction...

Barn Door Shower Curtain

Discontinued

Country boys, take the barn door with you and curtain it right across your shower rod when you leave the family farm for the big city this fall. This door might have a little more polyester it in that your typical pine...

Casper Dog Mattress

$125 - $225 Casper »

Remember the Casper? Or should I say, the Hug & Bounce Mattress? Now your dog can get his game--and by game I mean 18 hours of sleep per day--on too with Casper's version Canine of their pressure-relieving memory and...

Octopus End Table

$1,068.99 Amazon »

Good evening, Sir, I am Mr. Belv-octo-dere. Humbled to be at your service. Yep, that's right. This octopus wants to be your table. He wants to balance your beer and slices of MeatZZa perfectly level all day, all evening...

Viking Beer Horn Glass with Stand

Sold Out Amazon »

Yeah, this glass beer horn technically has a stand that will hold it in between sips, but we all know real men take the beer by the horn and drink it 'til it's gone!...

MDK9 Dog Haus

$3,650 RAH:DESIGN »

Axel here turned his nose up at the first house his owner Rahil Taj bought him, demanding something "less Peanuts and more Frank Lloyd Wright, dude. You know, clean lines, dramatic angles. And can we show some creativity...

Fidget Cube Desk Toy

$25 Antsy Labs »

Whether it's the caffeine jitters, public speaking anxiety, or ants in your pants, those of us who aren't trained professionals in smoothness like James Bond and Ryan Gosling in Crazy, Stupid, Love will probably feel...

Saddle Barstool

Sold Out Amazon »

I was at the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar in Jackson Hole, WY once and saw these Leather Saddle Barstools in action. I mean really in action. A young lady, a middle-aged wrangler, a lot of shots of old whiskey...it's a story...

Phil Curren Custom Car Chairs

What was Phil Curren thinking jumping from 30 years in the fire department to a "retirement" of restoring classic cars with his brother to a hobby of transforming those cars into Adirondack chairs? Where does he think...

The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...

Shark Sushi Plate

$180 Etsy »

Dunk a piece of your Caterpillar Roll in this sushi plate's wasabi & soy sauce reservoir and you might not get it back. Might be the last you see of your chopsticks...and your fingers...too...

TubShroom Drain Protector

$12.99 Amazon »

If my girlfriend's hair is even in the same room as the bathtub drain--no, sometimes if the follicles just sense the drain's presence from the kitchen or the living room--I swear I'm digging a fist-sized nest of her head...

Wine Gun Electric Wine Opener

$29.99 - $39.99 Amazon »

From 12 months floating in a cozy barrel of French Oak to 2 seconds staring down the stone cold barrel of my silver revolver (hot pink for the ladies!) Pinot Noir, prepare to meet your maker...

FiberFix "Steel" Tape

Sold Out Amazon »

FiberFix isn't made out of steel, but with a claimed 100 times the holding power of duct tape, this wraparound adhesive is just about as strong. Post-application, it hardens like steel too. In about 10 minutes. You need...

The Rhino Hammer

$43 - $46 Kickstarter »

It's a hammer stampede! Grab some nails and take out your aggressions, or just add this winning take on the animal kingdom's favorite horned herbivore to your collection of desktop toys. The Rhino Hammer is a functional...

Cangshan German Steel Knife Block Set

$195.95 Amazon »

Brass rivets in the handles and a Swiss cheese block gave this Cangshan knife set an Honorable Mention in the 2016 RedDot Awards. It does look pretty nice. Complementing the design details are the solid walnut used to...