Crochet Hooded Knight Blanket
Joni Memmott told me her husband made a special request for a Crochet Hooded Knight Blanket "so he could stay warm while playing PS4 during the winter." Being a maven of the yarn (maybe you saw her Crochet Optimus Prime Helmet a few years ago?) Memmott was like, "Pssh! No problem. How about I include a colorful shield that wraps across the front and add some handles inside the blanket you can slip your hands through to stay wrapped up even while you're holding the controller and jerking erratically to shoot and kill things?"
Whereas my own wife would be like, "Pssh! Why would I make something to help you play more PS4? I hope you freeze your ass off."
Another bummer for me is that Memmott is mostly selling her Crochet Hooded Knight Blankets as PDF patterns, not finished, glorious products. When purchased, you can download the patterns immediately, and they include full instructions, with pictures, on how to crochet a wrappable medieval hero in either super bulky yarn or worsted weight yarn, and in sizes Baby through Adult Large.
Memmott says the Knight Blankets are pretty easy to crochet, even for people with little experience, which means if my mama starts now, maybe a Crochet Hooded Knight Blanket in gray and orange and green will be ready for me by Christmas. Same goes for you. Know anyone already starting seek out best-ever gifts for men this year?
If you, and everyone you know, are truly hopeless with the yarn and needle, Memmott does sell some of her Knight Blankets pre-crocheted - at printing she had a kiddo's version available for $99. Maybe the GAM* who ask her nicely, and agree always to exhibit the honor, courage, and chivalry of a knight while wearing it, can score one in full helmeted, shielded, and warm'n'cozy form too.
*Grown ass men.