Sockdoms Scented Condom Socks
No, Sockdoms Scented Condom Socks were not designed for hygienically diddling someone with your foot like Lorals Latex Panties were designed for oral sex. Though I suppose you could wear a pair of Sockdoms if foot-diddling is your particular take on the term "foot fetish," and you want to provide some semblance of protection for your foot, as well as your recipient's sensitive bits if you've got a lot of calluses and sharp toenails.
But in fact, Sockdoms were invented for...the exact same purpose as any other pair of tube socks: to keep your feet cool, dry, comfy, and blister-free inside a pair of sneakers. Or birkenstocks and crocs, if that's how you roll, Dad. The only real differences between Sockdoms and your Hanes are:
- Their strawberry scent (odd choice, unless you're hoping someone will volunteer to suck on your socked toes - I'd have gone with something minty or woodsy here).
- The words "Sockdoms, ribbed for your leisure" printed on the bottom of each one. (Yuk, yuk yuk.)
- The packaging, which, of course, looks like a giant foil condom wrapper, and gives Sockdoms the final push they need to fulfill their one true calling as a white elephant or gag gift.
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Magnetic Holding Hands Socks
I wanna hold your hand...and play footsies...and be dressed to shoot hoops or compete in a track & field event at any moment, all from the knee down. Can anyone help me with that? Oh. Why, hello, Magnetic Holding Hands...
/toe-separator-socks-for-26892.jpg "Toe Separator Socks for Alignment & Relief")
Toe Separator Socks for Alignment & Relief
Mmm, spread those sexy toes wide! Not just for my benefit, but for your own. Whether you're into yoga, promoting blood circulation and relieving foot pain after a workout, or slowing down the growth of your bunion, the...
/parasoles-3d-recovery-socks-37791.jpg?mode=crop "Parasoles - 3D Recovery Socks with Polymer Soles")
Parasoles - 3D Recovery Socks with Polymer Soles
While I haven't tried Parasoles myself, I have seen the funky sock-shoes in action on another dude at my gym. He flippin'-tires loves them. Always tries to get me to try them on and see for myself, but uh, these so-called...
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Clutch Gas Socks
Boostnatics' Clutch Gas Socks were obviously made for gearheads, and would indeed be a fine gift for car enthusiasts. But so too would they be an excellent gift for teens learning to drive a stick shift. Speaking from...
Sushi Socks
They're sushi socks going on anyway. Probably more like kusaya socks coming off. Mmmm, take a whiff of that, Cornelius. All the wasabi and pickled ginger in the world isn't going to cover up the scent of me and my fuchsia...
/slow-man-slip-on-sock-shoes-45562.jpg?mode=crop "Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes")
Slow Man Slip-On Sock Shoes
If, when a pair of socks slipped inside a pair of sneakers, they made a baby, that baby could definitely pop out looking like Slow Man's Slip-On Sock Shoes. And while I'm not so sure about the laceless Sock Shoes' zdesire...
Socrates Everlasting Socks
Much like the AdrenaSuit Socrates Everlasting Socks, or SocSocks, employ a military grade Kevlar|Carbon Matrix that will render you impenetrable. OK fine, it will just render the socks impenetrable. But still, a pair...
/waterproof-socks-28293.jpg "Waterproof Socks")
Waterproof Socks
Showers Pass made these waterproof socks to keep athletes' and other F the rain weather warriors' feet dry when they run, hike, and bike in anything from light drizzles to torrential downpours...
/flat-socks-55222.jpg?mode=crop "Flat Socks")
Flat Socks
Uh, they look pretty much like insoles to me, but OK, Flat Socks. They're flat socks if you say so. Some other things Flat Socks says about their "socks" worn by your shoe rather than your foot is that they're "No slip...
Settlers of Catan Socks
Betabrand's first production of Socks of Catan sold out in less than a week. So now would-be settlers of the feet sheaths must roll 7s until those who bought the socks by the dozen are forced to give back enough to replenish...
/lemon-sox-scented-socks-in-a-30501.jpg?mode=crop "Lemon Sox - Scented Socks in a Can")
Lemon Sox - Scented Socks in a Can
On the outside, Lemon Sox look like a can of tuna fish or cat food, but crack them open, and instead of fish and congealed vomit you'll see a pair of colorful, patterend men's socks. Even better, instead of fish and congealed...
/beer-mug-socks-40732.jpg?mode=crop "Beer Mug Socks")
Beer Mug Socks
These Beer Mug Socks are actually more like Beer Mug Leg Warmers, but yarn maestro Vicky Djokic probably figured referring to her most excellent hand-knit frothy pints o' brew as "leg warmer" would deter men from clicking...