Tear Stick to Make Yourself Cry

Posted: September 22, 2022
Tear Stick to Make Yourself Cry
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When applied to the rims of the eyelids, the Kryolan Tear Stick generates big fat ones for the likes of actors, drama queens, and people who believe crying will get them out of speeding tickets, or into sold out shows. And, hey, maybe it does.

Kryolan seems to use some mentholated concoction to get the sobs a-flowin', but its effectiveness has mixed reviews. Some say they can barely hold the salty droplets back after applying the Tear Stick. while others say it just makes their eyes smell like their grandpa's muscle rub. Like real crying, it's possible the number of tears you're able to shed using the Tear Stick is simply proportional to your emotional connectedness to the world, and how in touch you are with your feelings.

And if the Kryolan Tear Stick fails to cue the waterworks, there's always the trusty methods of cutting an onion or checking the 2022 performance of your stock portfolio.

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