Giant Stuffed Tarantula

$960 Etsy »

As Brian Fellow would say, this giant stuffed tarantula is "one fuzzy bug. That's crazy!" And though he'd still be wrong about the bug part, Lifelike Spider Art's supersized arachnids are indeed fuzzy. Very, very fuzzy...

MastaPlasta Instant Leather Repair Patch

$18.99 Amazon »

The bad news is when you use a MastaPlasta Instant Leather Repair Patch to repair a tear or gouge in your leather...instantly...it's still going to look like a leather repair patch. Like the fabric ones your mama used...

Zombie Kids Halloween Yard Art

$71.11 Etsy »

My mama's gonna dig adding these Zombie Kids to her front yard when she decorates for Halloween this year. I'll be a fan of them too if they scare away some of her trick-or-treaters, thus creating more leftover candy...

Sleepout Portable Blackout Curtain

$89 - $319 Sleepout »

Blackouts and blacking out typically carry negative connotations, but they are responsible for a better experience during one event: bedtime. Sleepout is a portable blackout curtain its creators say installs over any...

Amaranth Vase

$39.99 - $59.99 Amazon »

The Amaranth Vase makes taking care of bouquets and floral arrangements way less of a thorn in your side. Uh, though it won't do anything about actual thorns. Be they attached to flower stems, or somehow embedded in your...

Garrnish Pesticide Purifier

$199 - $299 Garrnish »

Electrolysis. First it saves you from unwanted body hair, and now with the Garrnish Pesticide Purifier, it's gonna save you from unwanted pesticides coating your fruits and vegetables!...

Alien: The Official Cookbook

$24.86 Amazon »

Like cooking? Like the Alien movie franchise? Most importantly, like making grotesque images out of your food? Alien: The Official Cookbook has hugged the face and burst forth from the chest of author Chris-Rachael Oseland...

Jigsaw Puzzle Piece Prosthetic

$12.40 Etsy »

COVID and serial killers have made jigsaw puzzles so popular! The latter, John Kramer from the Saw film series, is the real inspiration behind this Jigsaw Puzzle Piece Prosthetic from Etsy shop Locked in the Cellar, but...

Invisible Glass Reach & Clean Windshield Tool

$26.14 Amazon »

Now if my Aunt Jan saw a spot on her windshield, she'd lick her finger and aggressively wipe at it until it came off. Even if it were in one of those impossible-to-reach spots where the windshield slopes into the dashboard...

Giraffe Desk Lamp

Sold Out Amazon »

Giraffe Desk Lamp, you had me at first glance, but I have to ask: why the green shade? I feel like you'd look even more girafferific with an illuminated head made out of the same ash wood as your body. Or at least some...

Bullbar Freestanding, Folding Pull-Up Bar

$329 Bullbar »

I suck at pull-ups. But at least with the Bullbar, I can save the strength I'd normally expend to assemble, set up, and fight with my wife about how I didn't really ruin the doorway installing a pull-up bar, and direct...

Cryosleeve BOA Compression Ice Sleeve

$99.99 - $119.99 Amazon »

It sounds fancy, but Cryosleeve maker Recoup is quick to point out that the combination of "cryotherapy" and "compression" their pain and inflammation tool provides is really just a nice mix of ice and squeezing tight...

Nana Hats Banana Preservers

$9.99 - $12.99 Amazon »

Nana Hats, a 2-piece combo of a silicone condom and a crocheted animal or other cutesy item cover, call themselves banana preservers. I call them another banana invention that's, yep, say it with me, bananas...

Trigger Multi-Caliber Mini Cannon

$44.95 - $49.95 Trigger Cannons »

Trigger Cannons are real treats for all you tiny warfare fanatics out there. Tiny warfare fanatics - is that a legit subculture? It's gotta be, right? If we have the furry fandom and competitive endurance ticklers, surely...

EDC Mini Cleaver

$56 Etsy »

Hungry for a little something? A squab, some nice frog's legs, a hamster, perhaps? This EDC Mini Cleaver from Titan International will see you through the breakdown of any number of small butchering chores. And if you're...

Dan Schaub Designs Masks

$300 - $999 Etsy »

Whether you're going for Boo! or Bow down! Dan Schaub's intricate, breathtaking deity masks will make terrified trick-or-treaters or mesmerized loyal subjects out of all who see you wearing one...

Mason Jar Flip Cap Lid with Handle

Sold Out Amazon »

A mason jar flip cap lid. Dude, I know. I don't want that as much as an eleMMent Palazzo Land Yacht, or even a Pool Punisher inflatable tank. Though did you see this mason jar flip cap lid also comes with a handle? Anyway...

Nintendo Switch-Style Pop Bubble Fidget Toy

Sold Out Amazon »

This Nintendo Switch-style pop bubble fidget toy might be the coolest low-tech - no-tech, really - gadget I've ever seen. Your kid wants entertainment? Check. Your kid wants to play games? Check. Calm down and relax?...

Beautiful Cities of the World by Trey Ratcliff

Add some NFbeauTy to your collection with a bid on Trey Ratcliff's Beautiful Cities of the World. The Smithsonian-featured fine artist has traditionally worked in physical artwork, selling pieces to myriad types of collectors...

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses

$17.99 Amazon »

Full Face Mirror Sunglasses are convex configurations of UV-resistant PC panels and UV400 lenses made to protect not just your eyes, but also your nose and mouth, from the blinding and burning rays of the sun. And maybe...

Floating Motors Classic Car Boats

I'm on a boat, motherf**ker! ... And, huh. Also, somehow, a classic car. ... B**ch! Floating Motors is proposing to transform the style and spirit of iconic cars ranging from VWs to Lambos into electric or standard motor-powered...

Am I a Dude? (A Little Dudeist Book)

$12.99 Amazon »

Am I a Dude? as a children's book title can have so many connotations these days, but here, my dudes, James Duncan's Little Dudeist Book naturally refers to a kiddo's potential for membership to the "Number One religion...

Gladiator Cargo Net

$144.95 - $540 Amazon »

Armed fighters of the Roman Empire, don't get your panties in a bunch. The Gladiator Cargo Net is not a sheath of heavy-duty weatherproofed webbing with triple-layered reinforced edges made for strapping down one's cargo...

Knight Gnome Garden Statues

$29.69 - $179.09 Etsy »

If Jaime Lannister had an illicit incestual affair with Tyrion instead of Cersei, I think these Knight Gnome Garden Statues are pretty good representations of how their kids would turn out. Tiny but fierce warriors who...