3Doodler - 3D Printing Pen

Sold Out Amazon »

Bring your doodles to life. Well, except for the animation and biological functionality parts. So more like, give your doodles 3 dimensions, without the added concern of feeding or sending them to private school. WobbleWorks'...

Omar Little Bib

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Omar Little, quintessential role model for those short on teeth and sweet on pulverized green beans and boob milk. Oh, indeed. The Wire's beloved man with the hot hand for stickin' it to drug dealers now comes in a medium...

Solid Gray Hardshell Backpack

$215 - $645 solid gray »

Solid Gray has given the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a makeover for the 2010s and invites you to play an active role in the re-imaging with their hardshell backpacks. The 4 color schemes available highlight general rebranding...

Willy Wonka Flask

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Willy Wonka looks bound and determined to F you up. Check out that sinister smirk. Like he's doing the devil's bidding. I bet he's left-handed too. Which means he'll encourage you to take swigs from your Wonka Flask with...

AquaClimb Poolside Water Walls

Does AquaClimb's addition of a swimming pool to the bottom of a rock climbing wall make the activity less or more likely to score me a ride in an ambulance? Less because when I inevitably fall--repeatedly--I will hit...

Images You Should Not Masturbate To

$9.95 Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad...

CuBox - The Little Computer That Can

$109.99 - $124.99 Cubox-i »

It's a straight up cage fight for the title of World's Mini-est Computer. First, we showed you the Raspberry Pi. Then came the Android MK802 Mini PC. Now, measuring in at 2" x 2" x 2"--about the size of an Everlasting...

Death Star Lollipops

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Death Star Lollipops. An excellent concept. And might I suggest throwing some Pop Rocks in there too during a suck session so they actually explode in your mouth...

Luxury Mile High Club Experience

Discontinued

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

Robot Bookshelf

$1,649 Switch Modern »

Kids, geeks, and lonely female cyborgs, I believe this robot bookshelf may pique your interest. Though not fitted with any mechanical parts, ATLAS still manages to demonstrate respectable robot handiness and wisdom with...

LumaTank - Edge Lit Fish Tank

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Betta fish have all the luck. They enjoy a completely acceptable sedentary lifestyle of floating and feeding, they never have to share their personal space with other fish, and now, thanks to Rob Young and Denny Curtis...

American Horror Story Rubber Man Suit

$35.89 - $40 Amazon »

Bring out the gimp. The gimp's sleeping. Well, I guess you'll just have to go wake him up now, won't you? Wait...wrong S&M fetish scene. The Rubber Man suit is an American Horror Story derivation. Just as well, I guess...

S-76 Ampratite Plasma Pistol

Discontinued

Does depressing the S-76 Ampratite Plasma Pistol's spring steel trigger really release unstable and highly reactive Zephane gas for co-mingling with exposed Ampratite crystals, the consequences of which generate an intense...

Chameleon Lounger

$5,500 Opulent Items »

Check out the Optimus Prime of seating designs. Though slightly less cool than the balls lounger, Francesca Donati's chameleon lounger still looks way more comfortable and relaxing than my hangover. Whoa, non sequitur...

Christopher Walken Taxidermy

Discontinued

I can't think of a better way to greet my guests, guard my house, and make myself feel perpetually on the brink of getting the shit kicked out of me than the mounted head of Christopher Walken. The most disturbing former...

Toilet Fondue

$17.13 Rinkya »

Mmm, nothing like a little toilet humor to complement dipping things in chocolate and putting them in your mouth. I think tubular or nondescript mass-shaped fruit, such as bananas and strawberries, intensify the visuals...

Saber Lamp

$225 Minor Asset »

Table Lamp 3. That's a nice secret code phrase for lightsaber, Andrew Haarsager. No one would ever suspect your true intentions of arming people with phosphorescent vectors of power primed to splice through space and...

The Like Sitting on Air Stool

$466 Studio Toer »

Possible Dome Stool Disclaimer: "Toer designed a stool that gives the appearance of sitting on air." Appearance? As in looks like one is sitting on air, not that one experiences the buttock tactile sensation of sitting...

WeeWow - Roboticize Your Voice

Discontinued

Before when I wanted my voice to sound like a roboticized rapper's I just had Kanye West serve as my ventriloquist. But over the past couple years he's sort of turned into an egomaniacal fame whore and no longer seems...

Be a Hero Rescue Tool

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Be a hero. Everyone's doing it. And even if they're not contemporary society--particularly the media, and particularly the media talking about celebrities--love throwing that word around and assigning it to people who...

Reversible Smoking Jackets

$225 Beta Brand »

I don't usually smoke, but when I do, I also like to dress up like a Red Dragon, wear a monocle--in both eyes--and sip whiskey out of my Swig & Puff Flask. I also like when the dragon costume is subtle enough to wear...

Zelda Poe Soul in a Bottle Necklace

$12 Etsy »

If I killed dead a being of pure hatred and encapsulated it in its lantern, I'd take the rupees from the Poe Collector for it rather than let it dangle from my neck so dangerously close to my heart. Sure Poe Souls can...

The Avocado Incubator

If you're going to give an avocado the Cuber treatment, you must first acquire an avocado. Now I know one way to accomplish this task entails a simple trip to the grocery store. But we live in a paradoxical age of extreme...

Fiddle Rocker

Discontinued

Thomas Orner turned the best musical instrument ever into the best pastime ever: Fiddle, meet Sitting in a Rocking Chair. The Fiddle Rocker No.3 (which both indicates predecessors No. 1 and No. 2 and falls in line with...