Tardigrade Steel Hose

Posted: July 09, 2020
Tardigrade Steel Hose
$12.99 - $33.99
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If anyone knows about extinction events it's tardigrades and my mama's garden hoses. Tardigrades, also known as water bears and moss piglets, are tiny - wee-wee-wee-wee-tiny all the way home - water animals that have gained popularity both in science and pop culture for their combination of extreme hardiness and adorableness. They have survived every apocalypse that's knocked on their door, five major extinctions, and can pretty much live in any conditions, anywhere on Earth. Maybe Mars too. They've even earned an Ode to the Tardigrade from yours truly.

My mama's garden hoses, on the other hand, have a different familiarity with extinction. It's their own, coming inevitably, imminently, from the moment they enter her backyard. One too many kinks, one too many leaks, too unwieldy to transport, too hard to load onto the hose reel, the list - and the pile of discarded hoses - goes on.

So. Tardigrade Steel Hose. Daring to bring the world's #1 survivor's reputation to a product that barely survives a summer at Mama's house. We'll see about that.

The Tardigrade Steel Hose is indeed made of steel, but in its lightweight, stainless form. The metal construction allows the hose to operate kink-free and puncture-proof, plus brings added strength and durability to a backyard mainstay otherwise susceptible to weather, animals, vehicles, and others who would do it harm.

The Tardigrade Steel Hose comes in various lengths, ranging from a 1' connector piece to a full 50' garden gift.

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