Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold

Posted: May 07, 2012
Hand Gun Egg Fryer
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Mmm, from dead fetus to sharp shooter. I'm going to take a shot at loading the Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold into the Rule of Thirds, as described by my 9th grade English teacher. He said that a third of the people we meet throughout our lives we instantly like. A third we instantly dislike. And a third we feel nothing for one way or the other. I imagine this stainless steel mold that turns even salmonella-free eggs deadly rates similarly amongst its audience. 33% love the thought of eating gun-shaped eggs because they love guns and, by proxy, all things reminiscent of them. The gun mold is a winner, winner, spawn of chicken dinner simply because it's a gun. The next 33% hate guns, and everything guns stand for, and so, despite its harmless application, will despise the gun mold simply because it's a sunny side up representation of the unsavory weapon. The last 33% don't really care one way or the other about guns, and probably just question the motives and sensibility behind frying eggs shaped as anything.

Now the lovers--again, according to Mr. Mendelson--are always going to love, and the haters are always going to hate. But the third third, the people who look at gun-molded eggs and feel utter ambivalence, those are the people whose emotions can be swayed. Who the maker of this contraption purporting to arm plates with the most bang-bangin' breakfast on the block can convert to Hand Gun Egg Fryer Mold enthusiasts and, in turn, direct profit. Yep.

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