Cactus Christmas Tree

Posted: November 07, 2022
Cactus Christmas Tree
$89.99 - $139.99
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A Cactus Christmas Tree this year, huh? How very...southwest of you, Mama. No, dudes, this bastardization of one of the best parts of the holidays doesn't resonate with me either. I don't care how much it fits into the weather and landscape of the place you live in December, or how many green eco-friendly PVC "needles" and gold and red electroplated balls you bedeck it with, a cactus is not a Christmas tree.


If a Cactus Christmas Tree has caught my mama's eye over a real 8' pine tree that I have to tie down and drive home from the lot, secure into a tree stand so it doesn't fall over, ensure it has enough water so it doesn't die and catch fire throughout the season, haul out to the compost on January 2, and then clean up all the needles it shat all over Mama's living room throughout its tenure there, well then. A Cactus Christmas Tree it is.

These Cactus Christmas Trees even come pre-installed with LED lights and the aforementioned festive balls. The more I think about it, a Cactus Christmas Tree might be the best Christmas gift my mama ever gave me.

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