Custom Selfie Toasters
No more must you be the son of God or the father of Luke Skywalker to have your face toasted on a piece of whole wheat. Burnt Impressions, a Vermont-based novelty toaster company, will take any hi-res photo selfie you've got--or a photo of your dog or your kid if you're feeling slightly less narcissistic--and hammer it into the grilles of a toaster. So next time you butter a piece of crisped sourdough, you'll see a familiar mug, emblazoned smiling/duckfacing back at you.
You'll also probably save calories, being less likely to hide that stellar 3/4 shot you took at a particularly long stoplight last March with layers of jam or Nutella.
Custom selfie toasters come in the buyer's choice of 5 colors, and typically take about a week to create. Note that Burnt Impressions cannot guarantee fine details will toast through, seeing as branding on leavened grain products isn't exactly the friendliest artistic medium. However, the company will test a few pieces of selfie toasties prior to shipment, and if they "squint and can't see your face" they'll cancel the order and refund your bread.