Viper Deluxe Backyard Zip Line Kit

Posted: September 04, 2013
Viper Deluxe Backyard Zip Line Kit
$399.95 - $469.95
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Even though Viper's Deluxe Zip Line Kit is rated for passengers of up to 350 pounds almost all of the photos I could find depict only kids using it. You know why? Because all of the adults who would like to partake in this flight o' fun are working. They have jobs enslaving their minds and bodies to The Man so that they can afford to spend hundreds of dollars on a zip line kit and, more importantly, hundreds of thousands of dollars on the kind of house with a back yard large enough to install a 100' zip line cable for these irreverent and ungrateful children.

Fine. Maybe some of the young'uns said thank you and mowed the lawn.

Viper Deluxe Zip Line Kits bring the thrill of gliding high above the tree tops in remote forests much closer to home, and much closer to the ground. They include a high carbon powder-coated steel cable trolley with built-in handlebar, a 20' Boa Bungee brake system (sliding plastic block with front impact pad to catch the trolley and slow it down with a bungee cord), a zip line harness, all assembly accessories, and the buyer's choice of a 100', 150', or 200' 1/4" galvanized aircraft cable.

Oh. I just watched the video. I guess the real reason adults are scarcely shown using the backyard zip line is that they are enormous babies.

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