The Dude Presents: 31 Holiday Gifts for Men in 2021
The Dude presents dude presents! 31 of them, in fact. And to ensure these gifts for men are gifts for men not just in title, but also in practice, each one has been injected with snakes, snails, puppy dog tails, testosterone, a handful of Dad jokes, and a hint of Old Spice.
Note: All 31 gifts for men in 2021 are priced as they were at printing on November 16, 2021. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Wingball - 88 MPH Foam Not-Football
You'd think the Wingball would throw like when you have a bag of pork rinds and your friend Cornelius wants one, so you try to toss it to him instead of either of you getting up and walking the 7 steps to do the exchange, but the pork rind is too light and not aerodynamic, and ends up traveling the equivalent of 2 steps before falling on the ground. Thus forcing Cornelius not only to get up and come get it after all, but also to eat it off the ground.
But according to Wingball maker Hog Wild, this football-like foam flyer can easily cover a 7-step range. Maybe even a 700-step range, given its ability to use a "tubular tirade of science and simplicity" to "whizz past you at 88 miles per hour!"
Session Goods Limited Edition Designer Series Smoking Gear
Come to the Dark Side...or the Light Side. They both have the sexiest smoking accessories your strains will ever see in Session Goods' Designer Series of all black and all white bongs, pipes, and cleaning caps.
Motorcycle Beer Can Chicken Stand
What do you get when you put a chicken on a motorcycle? A badass mother clucker ready to ride the flames! Of the grill. While hoisted up on a beer can. And dead and de-feathered, of course.
Etsy shop Tom's RiDICKulous Things is responsible for this line of Motorcycle Beer Can Chicken Stands, and indeed the stainless steel grilling companions merit their inclusion in a shop with that name. Motorcycle enthusiasts, grill masters, chicken lovers, and anyone who digs playing with their food are going to get a kick - and a cluck - out of these American Rider, Canadian Rider, and Flaming Rider chicken stands.
The All-in Wonder Mount
The All-in Wonder Mount by Mount Genie is a space-saving, decluttering nylon and Velcro strap that...I'm sorry, but heh-heh, heh-heh, they said, All-in Wonder Mount, Beavis. And Mount Genie. Heh-heh, heh-heh. I'll have to ask my wife later if she wants an All-in Wonder Mount wish granted from the Mount Genie that is this guy.
So anyway, what is this product? Do I even care now that I have its hump-diddly-umptious innuendo to play with in my head all day?
Alright, alright, the All-in Wonder Mount is a commercial-grade mobile bracketing system, made largely for the electronics used by contractors and military personnel, but also happy to serve anyone who wants to temporarily mount, or rotate items they have mounted, in a specific spot on the wall.
Boat Gadget 10-in-1 Boat Tool
Made by boaters, for boaters, the Boat Gadget is a 10-in-1 boat tool whose first two tools listed are "bottle opener" and "corkscrew wine opener." And that tells me about all I need to know about the boaters who made the Boat Gadget, and the boaters they made the Boat Gadget for. And that makes me wonder when one of them is going to invite me on their motherf**in boat. I'll bring some beers and Butt Buoys!
LEGO Adidas Originals Superstar Sneaker
Kick it with LEGO and Adidas this holiday season, courtesy of the brands' collaboration on this LEGO Adidas Originals Superstar Sneaker. At 731-pieces the shoe, like the LEGO Typewriter, is another adult building brick kit intended for display, this time on the desktops and shelves of Adidas fans and sneaker collectors.
Gladiator Cargo Net
Armed fighters of the Roman Empire, don't get your panties in a bunch. The Gladiator Cargo Net is not a sheath of heavy-duty weatherproofed webbing with triple-layered reinforced edges made for strapping down one's cargo of gladiators. It's just named after you. For being heavy-duty and weatherproofed with reinforced edges yourselves.
Gladiator Cargo Nets say they tie down truck loads better than alternatives thanks to an integrated rip-stop mesh covering one side of the webbing. The mesh keeps the net smooth on one side to prevent snagging while loading, plus allows for securing smaller items that might otherwise fly out between the grid squares. Its industrial strength rating means that even if the mesh is punctured, the tear won't grow.
Tekto Gear Romeo Folding Knife
I never thought I'd want to be a Romeo's Juliet, but the Tekto Gear Romeo folding knife has me reconsidering, since I know this blade and I would make quite the pair.
The Tekto Romeo features a 3.46" tanto blade forged from Austrian M390 super-steel. It folds into a 4" polished carbon fiber handle, where it's held in place with titanium alloy screws. Both the screws and an attached titanium alloy clip complement the matte darkness of the carbon fiber with a glossy azure finish.
Grovemade Task Knife
Cut from your choice of solid stainless steel or brass, and finished raw to preserve machining marks, the Grovemade Task Knife's primary task is to look elegant and minimalist sitting on its stand. That's right, a stand, not a sheath that would hide it from admiring eyes.
By the same token, Grovemade notes the Task Knife is "practically indestructible," and "hefty and delicate at the same time." It is particularly skilled at opening boxes, but is also suitable for other basic desk duties. Fidget toy included, as the Task Knife is Grovemade to feel nice in the hand.
Strong Arm Maneki-Neko Good Luck Cat
What does this Maneki-Neko lucky cat statue with one extra-ripped arm - the waving arm, of course - say? Welcome to the gun show, of course. Either that or, Wait, I was supposed to take those injections in both arms? Or, I train with Rafael Nadal. Or, No luck? Maybe it's time to strong-arm the fates.
D'CENT Biometric Cryptocurrency Hardware Wallet
Protect all D'CENTS and D'DOLLARS of Bitcoin, Dogecoin, Ethereum, or whatever cryptocurrency you've bought up with this biometric cryptocurrency hardware wallet. The Bluetooth-enabled cold storage device protects your private crypto keys with a certified Secure chip(EAL5+) and built-in fingerprint sensor, which both prevent others from accessing your money, and allow you to authorize transactions quickly and securely.
Fire & Flavor HERO Portable Charcoal Grilling System
Some days I feel like a hero, and other days I feel like a HERO. I'm talking fat stacked sandwiches and BBQ brats cooked on a portable charcoal grilling system here, of course. Not me, like, helping my mama with her flooded basement in a small heroic kind of way, and definitely not me saving a puppy from a coyote in a BIG HEROIC kind of way.
If you're my kind of hero, maybe you need a hero and a HERO too. The latter, Fire & Flavor's HERO, packs a grill large enough to feed a hungry dude like myself, plus my normal-appetited wife, into a 15" x 11.5" briefcase that weighs less than 10 pounds.
SpyraTwo Water Bullet Water Gun
The SpyraTwo water gun, a follow-up to the successful SpyraOne, is a water battler that replaces the streaming shots of other water guns with a powerful 30mL "water bullet." Why pelt your friends with horizontal raindrops instead of the tried-and-true Supersoaker surge? SpyraTwo puts the force of German engineering and a rechargeable li-on battery behind its shots, creating an H2prOjectile firing power capable of hitting targets 30' feet away with the blaster's standard shot, and 46' away using the new Power Shot feature.
Olight Warrior X Turbo 1000-Meter Flashlight
When Mother Nature throws darkness, you throw Olight. And when some dude in the park throws shade about your obnoxious flashlight, you...don't even notice because the Warrior X Turbo is throwing a full 1,100 lumens of light at a Canada goose that's 1,000 meters away. Holy crap, 1,000 meters! That's a powerful little torch!
1,000 meters also represents the minimum distance I like to keep between myself and Canada geese. Those are some damn mean-spirited birds.
Rotate All-In-One Watchmaking Kits
Building my own watch with one of Rotate's All-In-One Watchmaking Kits sounds like quite the accomplishment. I'd be very pleased with myself, and wear that watch until the end of time, if I did that. "If" being the key word here.
Rotate rates the difficulty levels of each timepiece in their line of DIY mechanical watch building kits. "Medium" and "Hard" are the only two that make an appearance. And I'm more of an "Easy"-going dude. So, yeah, I'll leave the Rotate All-In-One Watchmaking Kits to you 5-star tinkerers, makers, and Operation masters out there.
ROAM 82L Rugged Case - Heavy-Duty Trunk Storage Case
ROAM where you want to...but plan for your return with ample supplies, provisions, and gear stashed back at home base. Home base here being your vehicle, with the ROAM 82L Rugged Case stepping is as your stuff storage wingman.
The 82L Rugged Case, as its name suggests, is a heavy-duty behemoth of a LLDPE shell ready to organize and protect anything from dry goods to camping equipment to recovery and survival gear. The container is designed to stow away your trunk, or load up in the back of a Jeep or Subaru.
Personalized LEGO Minifigure
LEGO my head! Your personalized LEGO minifigure awaits, at least from the neck up, courtesy of your submitted photos and Funky 3D Faces' 3D printing skills. The Etsy shop will transform any man, woman, or child submitted into a sandstone material head with a 5mm diameter hole on the bottom. A hole in your head you need, for once, because it will allow you to snap your LEGO self onto any standard LEGO minifigure body out there. Cowboy, firefighter, superhero, Chandler Bing, George Costanza, you name it.
Firebird Nixie Tube Watch
The myth, the legend, the Firebird. Nixie tube timepieces have carved out their niche amongst steampunk fans, tech geeks, and many a bachelor pad, but Nixie Watch Store's Firebird Nixie Tube Watch could look right at home on the wrist of just about any dude with an appreciation for unique design and style.
Despite its showcase of Cold-War-era cathodes, the Firebird Watch comes off as sleek and modern thanks to Nixie Watch Store's chunky geometric case and tire tread rubber band. The case is made of milled and then anodized hard aluminum alloy, with sapphire crystal glass laid over the top to protect the nixie tubes.
Bourbon Nosing Kit
Thumb your nose at the Bourbon Nosing Kit, and the snobbery you think it represents, but train your sniffer to better identify the aromas in your snifter, and you might end up knocking yourself out with the whole new sensory experience you'll enjoy every time you sip a glass. You might become an even bigger bourbon enthusiast than you were before. You might become a bourbon snob yourself. Or, at the very least, a bourbon lush.
Nose Your Bourbon has hand-compiled, bottled, and labeled odiferous elements representing the wood, grain, sweet, spice and fruit / floral components typically included in a bourbon tasting wheel into Bourbon Nosing Kits. Each box contains 18 items in screw-top containers, plus instructions on how to play the sniffing game - essentially pour, swirl, smell, smell, sip, chew, smell, smell.
Nitecore T4K 4000 Lumen Keychain Flashlight
Nitecore goes hardcore with their T4K, a 4000-lumen flashlight sized to fit on your keychain. The EDC powerhouse also has an easy-to-read OLED display showing brightness and battery levels. The former gives you five options, including a 10-second Turbo Burst Mode that shoots out the full 4000 lumens the T4K Flashlight has to offer. That will get you about 228 yards of throw and illumination from a torch no bigger than your thumb.
OK, maybe the Michelin Man's thumb.
The Pocket Engineer Wallet Ruler & Unit Conversion Card
If you can't flash your AmEx Black Card to show 'em how rich you are, flash your Pocket Engineer ruler and unit conversion Black Card to show 'em how smart you are.
Well, medium-smart anyway. The real whizzes can recite physics constants, pressure, power, temperature, mass, area, and length conversions, and order of magnitude prefixes from heart. They're also infallible when it comes to measuring in standard and metric units by sight.
Dragon Collector's Knife
This Dragon Collector's Knife is a dragon collector's knife in so many ways. Indeed, the intricate blade, hand-forged in the Damascus style, and equally intricate hand-carved wood dragon holder make it a knife for both knife collectors and dragon collectors. With its ornate silver and 24K gold plated sheath and handle, so too is the Dragon Collector's Knife made for collectors of fine art and display pieces.
Real Time Cryptocurrency Price Ticker
Not only does this bad boy track the price of your choice of cryptocurrency - Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin, etc. - in real time, but this bad boy is also a lady. Her name is Pauline. Pauline the Crypto Price Ticker.
Created by Exit Via the Gift Shop, Pauline is built with an e-Paper screen for viewing at any angle your crypto's current price, plus its symbol, % change over 7 days, and a graph of its historic price. The real time ticker gets her feeds via WiFi, and is around the size of a deck of cards, so you can set her up anywhere, or carry her room to room with you to preclude constant frantic price checking on your phone or computer.
Handmade Vintage Post Office Box Door Safes
You can reach me at P.O. Box Don't Touch My Shit. And just in case you forget, I've locked the most valuable of it (cash, stash, Hot Wheels collectibles) up inside one of these very fine vintage post office door safes.
Woodworker and US Army veteran Brent Nelson reclaims real vintage post office box doors, and fits them onto the front of his handmade hardwood safes / banks. The "Double Eagle" post office box door shown in the featured safe above is solid brass, and around 100 years old. The rest of the cabinet is made of solid American walnut, with sides set together using box joints for extra strength, and finished with lacquer to bring out its natural color.
Hnefatafl Viking Chess Set
Vikings, Valhalla hopefuls, Beth Harmon of The Queen's Gambit, Hnefatafl has one question for you: are you ready to fight for your king?
"Viking chess set" is just a loose description of Hnefatafl, which is actually its own ancient and authentic game created in Northern Europe during Viking times. It peaked in popularity during the Dark Ages, and hasn't been played much since the early 18th century, but if 1980s fashion could make comeback in 2020, why not revisit 680s Viking entertainment on game nights in 2021?
Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer
Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why.
First, there's, "Hey." The shoe's greeting to me. It's perhaps not the most polite way to obtain my attention, but that's cool, I'm no princess.
Then we have "Dude." Mine own name in the brand's title. No further explanation required.
"Wally" is next, and while that may not seem so obvious to many of you, the name "Wally" holds a special place in my heart. It is the name I would bestow upon the son I neither have nor ever want.
"Stretch." These shoes stretch! Like all my favorite clothing, particularly the waistbands of my pants for the holidays.
And finally, there's "Loafer." Both the type of shoe the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer is, and the type of man I, who will soon be wearing a pair of Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafers, am too.
Carbon Fiber Stormtrooper Helmet
A Carbon Fiber Stormtrooper Helmet? Yes, please. Every carbon fiber of my being wants one. Made by Keith Robinson of Carbon Art Co., each Carbon Fiber Stormtrooper - Death Trooper might be more fitting - Helmet is a one-of-a-kind piece, made to order per your custom color requests, and numbered and signed for authenticity. And also perhaps out of the pride Robinson takes in creating the helmets, whose layers are shaped from solid carbon, no fiberglass filler fibers in between the plies.
Desert Futuristic Rings
There are some cooooool cats over at Substance Jewelry making these Desert Futuristic Rings - which, IIRC, were called Dune Futuristic Rings up until the movie came out, at which point someone probably started whining about copyright, and these independent artists making a fractional amount of money off their intellectual property.
Anyway, the abstract, futuristic shapes of the Desert / Dune rings are all intended to house a "hidden energy core" unique to Substance in both design and execution. Expressed as honeycombed interiors, the idea conjures alternate universes and faraway planets, perhaps dystopian or post apocalyptic ones, where people hold supernatural abilities, or their very life force, in a ring that never leaves their finger.
DIY Vasectomy Kit
I have included the DIY Vasectomy Kit prank gift box in pretty much every gift guide for men I've run since originally posting about it in September of 2019. And I'm still not tired of showing it to you. And I bet you're still not tired of putting a real gift inside it, and wrapping it up for your favorite dude who should not reproduce / stop reproducing. So here we are.
TITANER Titanium Folding Pocket Knife
A falcon, a dragonfly, and a hummingbird walk into a bar. Actually, they slice into a bar. A big fat Snickers bar. And the Falcon, the Dragonfly, and the Hummingbird, all members of TITANER's Titanium Folding Pocket Knife, either eliminate its wrapper so you can chow on down, or cut the Snickers in half because your wife insists on sharing, and you know she'll eat more than her fair share if you try passing it back and forth.
Notch Sunglasses-Friendly Baseball Hats
Two notches on a baseball hat equals one notch on Notch's belt for ending the war between sunglasses and billed caps. Notch sunglasses-friendly hats have patented cutouts on either side of their bills that enable them to slip over sunglasses frames comfortably, and without requiring constant adjustment of one accessory or the other.