Presenting the Alphabet: Gifts from A to Z
My Presenting the Alphabet series has concluded. With, if I may toot mine own horn, all 26 letters accounted for. Even Q. Even X. And over 300 gifts to choose from. Hell, it might be over 500. From A to Z, it's probably over 500, actually, but after the months of hard work I've already put into finding the products, and creating their alphabetical compilations, I feel my work here is done. I'll leave the looking, ogling, buying, and, yes, counting to someone else.
16 Gifts that Start with A
Presenting the alphabet. It's basically the same as saying "Gifting the alphabet," but has a clever play on words because I'm also presenting you choices of gifts / presents that start with letters of the alphabet. In this case, those gifts start with the letter "A." I've got you 16 of them, all loaded up and ready for perusal.
Above you see the Ace Jumbo Mattress and Atlas Obscura: The Explorer's Guide to the World's Hidden Wonders.
21 Gifts that Start with B
I made it to B! As I mentioned in my first go at Presenting the Alphabet, I wasn't sure how long I'd stick with the theme, but now I can say with certainty: at least 2 letters' worth! So check it out, 21 gifts that start with B.
18 Gifts that Start with C
I C you're here because you need and gift for a birthday, wedding, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or apology for something you completely F'd up (for that last one, wait a week or so, and I'll have my Presenting the Alphabet: Gifts that Start with F published.) And while you may not specifically need a gift that starts with the letter C, I've got 18 of them all ripe and ready for pickin' here, so unless you specifically need a gift that does not start with the letter C, click around and have a look-C at what I've got.
24 Gifts that Start with D
Dude. We're at the Ds. And I know what you're thinking: is this one gonna be an all-Lebowski gift guide? 24 gifts about rugs and White Russians and abiding that have "Dude" before them?
Well, I certainly considered that, but no. I also considered you dudes, and therefore included only one Dude-themed product in my double-dozen-strong D roundup. Surprisingly, there is also only one dick product. ... OK, maybe two.
15 Gifts that Start with E
Do you see it? Do you hear it? Do you smell it? It's- eeeeeeee! It's here! The Letter E, and all 15 excellent and extraordinary gifts I found that start with it.
21 Gifts that Start with F
For my next alphabetic trick, I have compiled 21 gifts that start with F, and not one of them contains the word F**k! I know, dudes, a trick indeed!
17 Gifts that Start with G
I'm feelin' really fine like a G6. No, even better than that. Like a G17. We're onto the letter G, and have I got 17 G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Great G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Gifts to share with you.
16 Gifts that Start with H
Here are 16 smokin' *H*ot and *H*ella cool gifts that start with H. Aitch if you're spelling it out. Haitch if you're spelling it out in the UK or Ireland.
16 Gifts that Start with I
I've compiled 16 gifts that start with "I," but don't worry. Only one of them starts with "i." And it's an iParody, not another expensive Apple device, or internet-based smart home product that's going to be a bitch to set up, and stop working every time your WiFi has a hiccup. My goal was to give you I gift ideas that won't make you ill or in need of ibuprofen. Hope I did good!
18 Gifts that Start with J
Juicy, Jim, Jedi, Just, and JAG kick off my roundup of 18 gifts that start with "J," and Jeri, JoGo, jelbows, and Juego do Domino close it out. In the middle? A Judy and a Bruce.
A Juice Bruce, that is. Enjoy.
16 Gifts that Start with K
Yippee Ki-K, it's the other "Kuh" sound, and 16 gifts celebrating it. You kooky kids enjoy! And you kantankerous Karens not down with Kong Beer Bongs and Krapp Strapps, shove it up your...well. Please refer to Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts That Start with C.
20 Gifts that Start with L
Gifts for your love (Lil Friend Micro Fixed Blade Knife, Leg Chains), gifts for your lust (Lorals Latex Panties), and gifts for your little penis (Lightsaber Willy Warmer, Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book.) LOL!
Enjoy all the LOLs of the Ls with my 20 gifts that start with L.
21 Gifts that Start with M
Mm-mm-mm, I've officially made it halfway through the alphabet in my series of gift guides that start with letters of the alphabet. Welcome to the letter M, and 21 gift ideas that make the most of this magnificent letter.
17 Gifts that Start with N
Whoa, Nellie...I mean, Nessie! It's 17 gifts that start with N! Do I expect you dudes (and ladies) to get me one them? Nah. Nope. No. Nada chance.
My mama on the other hand, nnnyes, please!
19 Gifts that Start with O
O. Oh. O-oh. Uh-oh. Oh boy, Oh boy! The big O. Ohhhh, baby. In my march through the alphabet of gift-giving (and letter-specific scores for yourself) we've gotten to the Os. O. M. G.
22 Gifts that Start with P
PPPPPPresenting the Alphabet! We've hit the Ps, my dudes...no, my peeps. From Popdarts to Power Reels, Power Idolz to Pep Talks, and Porsches to Pyros, I've got all the best P has to offer right here. Even the 2 poop gifts in my collection of 22 aren't shitty at all.
16 Gifts that Start with Q
I'd-a thought amassing a collection of gifts that start with the letter Q would be difficult. I mean, not X difficult, but certainly more arduous than the P gifts that preceded it. But it wasn't that hard at all. Sure, there weren't as many to choose from, but I think what I've got here - the Quaffer Double Bubble, The Quantum Magic Trick, the Quadrofoil Electric Watercraft, to name some highlights - are pretty good options for all you Q-lovers out there.
18 Gifts that Start with R
At the Rs AlReady? AlRRRighty, then, let's have a gandeR at what gRand and Resplendent pRoducts this letteR brings.
23 Gifts that Start with S
Suffering succotash! It's sexy time! Well...at least the first letter of sexy time. We've reached the gifts that start with the letter S. So for those of you who, like myself, aren't getting lucky with a partner at the moment, maybe you'll get lucky with a Sword House Key, a Screwpop Hit Kit, a Star Wars Rug, a Shuh Duh Fuh Cup Unicorn Mug, or a Strong Man Ring Holder instead. (Er, literally not recommended with that last one.)
And for those who are getting lucky with sexy time right now, much respect and kudos to you. You're as good at multi-tasking as the Snactiv snacking chopsticks.
22 Gifts that Start with T
Picture gifts alphabetically / T for (twenty-)two, and (twenty-)two for T. We've reached T-minus 0, my dudes and ladies. You know what that means: it's T-time, baby!
18 Gifts that Start with U
U...U...U...letter, U! U have gone and done it again! What am I going to do with U? I'll tell U exactly what. I'm going to showcase and applaud U in the form of 18 gifts that start with U.
16 Gifts that Start with V
I've got some good news. No, some V-ery good news. We're almost to the end of the alphabet. After these 16 gifts that start with V, I have only 4 more letters to go! And aside from panicking over what I'm gonna do about X, I am very excited to be so close to claiming victory over this 26-entry task I set for myself.
I don't expect you to share in my excitement. At least not over my own forthcoming achievement. The achievements of the cleVer DeVils behind Vent Dragons, the Vitruvian Man Action Figure, and the VibeRider Motorcycle Seat Vibrator, however, let's all give a Borat-enhanced, "I excite!" over those.
21 Gifts that Start with W
Who, what, where, when, why? The Dude. 21 gifts that start with W. Here. Now. Because that's the letter we've reached in my journey of alphabetic gift gift-giving.
12 Gifts that Start with X
X marks the spot. The 24th spot in the alphabet, and the letter I was most concerned I'd be able to represent in my presentation of alphabetical gifts. But finding X gifts proved not to be all that difficult after all. Here are 12 X-ceptional ones for you.
14 Gifts that Start with Y
I can't tell you Y there's so much hostility in the world today. I can't tell you Y the box of frosted shredded wheat and gallon of milk I bought yesterday cost $14. I can't tell you Y sealed bottles with foil tabs and plastic flaps that say "Pull to open" never f-ing open when you pull. I can't even really tell you Y I decided to make 26 gift guides based on the letters of the alphabet.
What I can tell you: 14 gifts that start with Y.
14 Gifts that Start with Z
My dudes, my ladies, we have reached Z end. Welcome to the Z gifts, and to the zen of this Dude, happy to be done with this little A(-to-Z)dventure.