Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with K
Yippee Ki-K, it's the other "Kuh" sound, and 16 gifts celebrating it. You kooky kids enjoy! And you kantankerous Karens not down with Kong Beer Bongs and Krapp Strapps, shove it up your...well. Please refer to Presenting the Alphabet: 18 Gifts That Start with C.
Note: All alphabet gifts are priced as they were at printing on November 16, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Kama Pootra: 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop
Both the best and the worst part about the Kama Pootra is that many of its 52 Mind-Blowing Ways to Poop turn a visit to the crapper into a group activity. I mean, on the one hand, who couldn't use a little help pinching one off every now and then? Particularly the morning after a starchy, colon-clogging meal of, say, 1.2 pounds of turkey floating in a mote of mashed potatoes and gravy, all cordoned off by a 6" wall of stuffing, and punctuated by a couple slices...quarters...of pumpkin and pecan pies. Look at The Cheerleader. Or The Wheelbarrow. Now that's the kind of significant other moral support, the kind of love in sickness and in health that I'm talking about!
But on the other hand, I've always kind of valued poo time as Me Time. Sure, the shitter is a place to shit (...unless the shitter's full...) but it's also a place to reflect. To decompress. To nearly pop a blood vessel in your forehead and rip your own self a new one while forcing out that last log of brownified Domino's pizza your excretory system did not make good on delivering in 30 minutes or less.
Killer Rabbit Slippers
Beware ye who enter the Cave of Caerbannog without backup in the form of cozy, yet stylish, footwear. Officially licensed by Monty Python - with a snarl-and-sap of approval from the Killer Rabbit himself - these snaggletoothed homicidal bunny slippers have a vicious streak a mile wide and a plush belly 98.6 degrees warm.
KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog
The scent of the Colonel's 11 herbs & spices without the herbed and spiced fried chicken to go with it? What is this KFC Firelog madness? My nose says, "Baby Jesus bless you!" but my belly says, "F you straight to the fiery flames of...a burning KFC 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog!"
K-9 Kannon Ball Launcher
This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and line up with good body position and engage your core on the throw...and features a hands-free pickup design and built-in extra ball storage.
Kangoo Jumps Anti-Gravity Fitness Boots
Originally developed by a doctor for rehab patients with knee, hip, and back injuries, Kangoo Jump anti-gravity boots provide former runners with an option for continuing their cardiovascular torture of choice nearly impact-free. The additional rebound exercises users can perform while wearing them have also integrated Kangoo Jumps into some gyms and specially designed fitness classes. As indicated by the photos, the Kangoo Jump aesthetic is very...elaborate...and the sight of people Kangoo Jumping en masse smacks of a Wayans Brothers spoof.
Kinetic Sand Kalm Zen Box for Adults
The Kinetic Sand Kalm Zen Box is a more tactile take on the Japanese Zen Garden intended for adults who find it easier to relax, destress, think creatively, or not die of boredom when they are partaking in some sensory stimulation. I know I'm one of them. And my wife isn't always available. And even the best male masturbatory aids lose their allure after enough hours of daily use.
Kinetic Sand is mostly regular sand, but with a shot of Swedish sorcery folded into it to act as a binder. The resultant hybrid is a super cool plaything that holds its shape when you mold it, and then slo-mo tumbles and separates back into a pile of fine granules when you knock it down.
Kindling Cracker Firewood Splitter
I'm choppin' some wood, splittin' some kindlin', buildin' a fire...naw. I'm really just sitting at my keyboard eating some turkey & gravy potato chips. Yeah, I couldn't believe they were real when I saw the bag either, but they are. They're real and they are delicious. This Kindling Cracker is pretty alright too. It was designed by a teenager in New Zealand looking for a way to make splitting firewood less likely to result in split body parts.
Her method eliminates the biggest offender, the axe, from the equation altogether. The Kindling Cracker design is simple, a cast iron splitting head mounted inside a 12" cast iron frame. To split, place a piece of wood inside the iron safety ring and whack it with a blunt instrument - hammer, mallet, another piece of wood, take your pick.
Kijaro Kubie Multi-Use Outdoor Blanket
Count the ways you can configure your Kijaro Kubie! This multi-use blanket is shaped to perform 8 unique outdoor functions. They include: Insulated Poncho; Ground Cover; Sleeping Bag; Pillow; Hammock; Hammock Liner; Under Quilt; and Shade Canopy.
Kettle Gryp - Turn Dumbbells Into Kettlebells
Kettle Gryps get things swinging at the gym. In the hotel fitness center. In your living r- Whoa! Son of a goblet squat, Zanzibar! She-Ra: Princess of Power, can you just keep the cat in the bedroom for, like, 20 minutes so I can finish my workout without being attacked in the middle of a Turkish get-up? As I was saying, Kettle Gryps are portable, clamp-on handles that bring kettlebell workouts to anywhere with standard dumbbells and a convenient (or inconvenient) space to swing, lift, press, and squat them.
Kula Cloth Antimicrobial Pee Cloth
This one's for the ladies! The Kula Cloth looks like a potholder, and indeed has highly absorptive powers, but in this case the camping and hiking companion isn't sucking up heat, it's sucking up pee. The Kula Cloth is an antimicrobial companion ladies can use to wipe themselves dry and tidy when they're basking in the beauty of nature and another nature starts to call.
Yes, in simplest terms the Kula Cloth is a pee cloth. But its female designers say they've created an elevated version of the traditional bandana or scrap of fabric that turns the Kula into "an extremely intentional piece of gear." One that looks and packs nice, has antimicrobial properties that keep it from reeking after you use it, and maintains the responsible outdoor enthusiast's standard of leave no trace.
KUDU Grill - Open Fire Outdoor BBQ Grilling System
Pretty KUDUde. This open fire grilling system brings swingin' versatility to your outdoor pitmaster endeavors with a grill grate and cast iron skillet ring / pan that allow for grilling, sauteeing, searing, frying, boiling, smoking, and steaming.
Keyhole Companion - No-Measure Keyhole Slot Marker
Gotta say, I'm a big fan of mounting things. And while the Keyhole Companion is a specialized tool for making it easier to mount things with only a specific type of slot, I can still see how this no-measure helper could be very helpful in mounting...artwork and shelving and tech accessories! What did you think I was talking about, you dirty-minded dudes?
Who wants a coupla shiners? From your fists to their eyes, these strap-on Knuckle Lights shine 150-lumen beams into the face of any who cross your path while running, walking, or making your way to a good wee-wee spot in the forest while camping at night. The Knuckle Lights are also good for simply illuminating your path so you don't trip or run into anything.
Kong Beer Bong
Under the motto, "Make the good times better," the Kong Bong is a combo can koozie and beer bong that transitions between the two in seconds. The insulating koozie holds beer cans, keeps 'em cold, and facilitates condensation-free polite sipping from the tab when business on the top is appropriate.
But when it's time to party on the bottom, the Kong Bong koozie's hard plastic construction lets it convert to a vessel that can also hold liquid on its own. A corrugated hose screws into the bottom of the koozie to serve as your chugging conduit and, once you've got the open end plugged with your thumb, pour up to 16 ounces of beer straight into the Kong Bong koozie. Then, prepare your pharynx.
Krapp Strapp - Pooping in the Woods Assistant
Nothing like dropping a deuce in nature...and then toppling over into it, or perhaps a bunch of leaves and twigs that can't wait to give you an anal probe. The Krapp Strapp says, No more! Not to the pooping in the woods, of course - ye hunters, campers, and hikers can't always help that - but to the awkwardness, the discomfort, and the potential danger of it.
A simple, low tech assistant for taking an off-grid dump, the Krapp Strapp consists of a nylon strap that wraps around a tree or other post, and an adjustable back support harness that takes some of the strength, balance, positioning, and hanging-onto-a tree-with-your-arms requirements out of the process.
KiTiDOT Red Dot Laser Pointer Cat Collar
There are fun cat toys. There are frustrating cat toys. There are evil cat toys. And then there's the KiTiDOT red dot laser pointer cat collar. A collar with a built-in projector of a perpetually un-pounceable red dot that the victim himself must bear and beam to his own torment! It even has 3 different lighting modes!