Dude's Must See Products for March 2023
March came in like a...Shark Coochie Board, and went out like a...Smartflower Sculptural Solar Energy System. The season changed from...Thor's Hammer Mug to...The Krak'in beer shotgunning tool. And Dude's products spanned from Head...board wedge pillow to...Vajacial Mask.
Note: All must see products for March 2023 are priced as they were at printing on April 1, 2023. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Pavashot PenShot Self Defense Pen Launcher
Havashot at the Pavashot PenShot, and sendashot towards a human or animal attacker up to 30' away. The launching of Pavashot's proprietary PAVA aerosol powder will even expose a jagged-edged ring at the end of the self defense pen you can use for follow-up activities, such as glass breaking and eye gouging.
And when you're not PenShotting off its pepper spray alternative, you can use the Fisher Space Pen ink cartridge inside for PenningShot a note to your mama, or filling out the PowerBall ticket that will surely win you enough cash to hire a professional security team that will carry and use PenShots for you.
Shark Coochie Board
Word to that, Shark Coochie Board. And though I've never heard attempts at saying "charcuterie" come out as "shark coochie" before now, it will henceforth be this dude's default pronunciation of the word. Well done, and welcome to the Awesome Word Perversions That Become Perverted Words Club.
Or should I say, Whalecum?
Grab Shell Morphing Keyboard
I'll fold him and hold him and flatten him...and kiss him and love him and squeeze him and call him George. No! I'll call him Grab Shell. The morphing keyboard you can lift and grip to type, or lay flat, in 3 separate segments, arrange how you like on your desk.
The Grab Shell Keyboard is the brainchild of a coder, a hardware engineer, and a writer, each with slightly different typing needs that traditional keyboards weren't meeting. They also considered their gaming children in the Grab Shell design, kids who grow up using keyboards both for communication, and as controllers in video game, AR, and VR worlds. The device they came up with combines keys, a trackball, a joystick, a scroll wheel, and a toggle switch in a transformable way that better suits all of their needs.
Baluchon House of Happiness - Tiny Home for Kids
The Baluchon House of Happiness is a tiny house for your kids? Complete with a wood stove, kitchenette, 3/4 bathroom, and, and...interior slide and rock climbing wall?! F. That. I've been working for the past 25 years of my adult - and part of my childhood - life, and I still don't have a tiny house for my own grown ass. If I hear a single toddler or elementary schooler bragging about their Baluchon House of Happiness, I am following them home, hitching it up to my 2006 Mazda 3, and hauling it somewhere it can be enjoyed by a dude who truly deserves such a luxury.
E180: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) It answers to the call of bells; 2) To all the Jills out there, it will be your Jack. ... And to all the Jacks out there, it will be your Jack too; 3) It's happy to help you set and clear the plates.
A Vajacial Mask? What in the Gwyneth goop is that?! No, that was rhetorical, don't explain it to me. The name says it all. And, hey, what's wrong with a lady giving herself a little soothing and hydrating spa treatment in the crotchal region? Would this not benefit both her, and anyone else involved with her crotchal region?
Vajacial Mask maker Bushbalm touts their vagina self-care treatment specifically as a great way "to get back in the game after getting rid of unwanted hair." Which is a super duper weird way to put it, but they mean the aloe vera, green tea, and hyaluronic acid in the mask can help reduce the dark spots, discoloration, razor burns, and ingrown hairs that may turn up after you wax or shave your bikini line area.
Drift Gaming Bed
Drift off to dreamland...right after drifting off to Super Smash Bros. and Call of Duty land with a few hours of play right from your Drift Gaming Bed.
UK bed retailer Dreams says, "If you take gaming as seriously as you take sleeping, it's time to get comfortable." Their Drift Gaming Bed is a self-contained and immersive snooze-and-play station fitted with a built-in HDTV, USB ports, and LED lighting you can set to match your favorite gaming system.
Annoying Gift Box
The Annoying Gift Box has 20 bolts its recipient is required to unscrew and remove to gain access to the goods inside. Sounds like a fun prank, right? Especially if you're, say, giving a gift to your girlfriend in the Annoying Gift Box, and that gift happens to be an engagement ring. What a great way to get her worked up before getting her really worked up, eh?
Yeah, OK, fine. It's only great if you're a little mean-spirited like I am-...what?! And a total jerk she shouldn't want to marry anyway? That's harsh, dudes.
Travel Sized Creations 3D prints the Annoying Gift Box in an array of box and ribbon colors, each with criss-crossing bolts that screw into brackets lining the ribbon. The bow on top also has a secret screwdriver stored inside, which you may opt in or out of telling the person who has to open the box about.
Koto Wood-Fired Hot Tub
Why is everyone using Koto's Wood-Fired Hot Tub also using, um, clothes? Like, what's that lady in the image above wearing in 102-degree water that's basically sitting right next to a campfire? A cardigan? A wetsuit? The wooly hat is very clear. And - and! - she appears to be sipping a glass of neat whiskey. Just to, I guess, warm the blood a little on top of it all. Where the heck is the Koto Wood-Fired Hot Tub made, Antarctica?
Presumably, ye who purchase a Wood-Fired Hot Tub from Koto's Elements line will not be required to outfit yourself in anything but your birthday suit to use it, so with that in mind, we can continue to discuss the spa itself. Sexy, modern, and tuned to nature, the Wood-Fired Hot Tub features a 200cm diameter lux black basin at its center. The tub is treated with heavy-duty granite, and enclosed in black thermo wood cladding, completing an aesthetic that is both beautiful and subtle.
I'm pretty sure "Mini-Saber" is just a fancy way of saying "torch lighter," but hey. Whether it's lifehacks, gearhacks, or wordhacks, they don't call themselves "Hacksmith" for nothing.
The Mini-Saber shrinks the iconic lightsaber - and tweaks the idea of what the battle weapon truly is - down to a "fun size" butane-powered lighter. Now, for a lighter, this thing is huge. It has a full-size hilt, grippable and wieldable, and a formidable, adjustable 4" to 6" flame. Hacksmith suggests using it to light campfires, melt through soda cans, and brulee the sugar tops of your favorite desserts and cocktails with some Star Wars style.
Not recommended is trying to use the Mini-Saber as an actual lightsaber against live opponents.
Wedge Pillow Headboard
Hard headboards, and even most of the soft, quilted ones, don't lend themselves so well to reading and scrolling in bed. And the pillows you sleep on, the ones that move and get mushed down and misshapen when you try to use them don't work great either. The same goes, I might add, for trying to use your standard headboard and sleeping pillows as props for other, sexier bed-based activities.
But a Wedge Pillow Headboard? Now we're talking true comfort, support, and...angling possibilities.
Thor's Hammer Mug
Hammer out your quarterly road map with a Thor's Hammer Mug of coffee at the office, and then put the hammer to some pints with a Thor's Hammer Mug (or four) of beer during happy hour after. The Thor's Hammer Mug is quite the versatile Mjolnir in that way, with a 15.2-ounce stainless steel interior lining for both hot and cold liquids, a bottle opened embedded in the bottom for popping caps, and a resin outer shell molded to make the consumption of whatever beverage you choose look worthy of a Norse god and a Marvel superhero alike.
The Krak'in 2.0 - Shotgun Beer the Better Way
Crack open a cold one, unleash the Kraken, and get the party started. Or, if you're lookin' to really tie one on, don't crack open the cold one, unleash the Krak'in, and turn the party into a rager. The Krak'in 2.0 is a beer shotgunning tool you can take anywhere, and pierce into any size can to make yourself an impromptu personal beer bong whenever the mood strikes.
PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottles
B**ch better have my...shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Honey, soy, and sriracha too, if you opt to use the PDW Versa Bear Travel Bottle set for condiments and sauces on a gourmet camping trip, or to stock your AirBnB kitchen.
Sold in 3-packs, each PDW Versa Bear has a TSA carry-on approved 2.7oz capacity. Its honey / gummy bear-inspired squeeze bottle body is made of translucent, food-grade silicone, fitted with an airtight flip-top cap that secures liquids inside. The cap has a rotating inner ring pre-printed with the words, "Shamp," "Soap," "Lotion," "Cond.," and "Sun," or you can use 1/4" label maker tape to create custom labels to distinguish your Versa Bears' contents.
Tekto A2 Badger OTF Automatic Knife
Tekto Knives has released the A2 Badger just in time for Spring cleaning. And by Spring cleaning, I mean, getting rid of your old blades and pocket knives that haven't proved their worth, and making room for an OTF automatic issue Tekto promises is as formidable as it is compact, and as burly as it is purdy.
The A2 Badger prides itself on its rapid deployment feature. Powered by a "precisely contoured button," the 1.85" titanium-coated D2 steel blade ejects and retracts lightning quick and with little effort, but still with exceptional grip and control.
Smartflower Sculptural Solar Energy System
The Smartflower isn't exactly a beauty in the world of flowers, but in the world of solar panels? Yeah, I'd agree this all-in-one solar energy system is a sculptural stunner. A clean, sustainable, and intelligent stunner, no less.
The Smartflower first removes the eyesore of solar panels from your roof, and redesigns them as an eye-catching installation for your yard. Or, perhaps you still think the Smartflower looks like an eyesore, but at least as a standalone structure, this residential (or commercial) energy source won't come with the hassle, and possible damage, of the roof panel install process. From seed to sprout to bloom - i.e., delivery to installation to connection - the Smartflower takes just hours to set up, remote from your house, in any location that suits you.