Dark Days of Summer: 13 Cool Summer Products in Black
I'm summer lovin' these 13 cool summer products in black, and not a-one of them is named Danny Zuko. (And I still say Sandy deserved better. Ladies, you shouldn't have to change yourself into a skin-tight-leather clad biker chick with a cig for any man! No matter how hot the transformation makes you!)
The color black is normally associated with many things - Halloween witches and cats, goths and bikers, my mood in the winter and watching the stock market fall the past few weeks. And so too is the season of summer - sunshine and beaches, long days and warm nights, ice cream cones and backyard BBQs. And now, in the mashup of all mashups, I am putting the two together. Black and summer, summer and black!
And while that sounds menacing and unpleasant, I promise, this black summer isn't going to be a Bananarama cruel, cruel one, but a Dude-approved cool, cool one. Enjoy my roundup of 13 cool summer products in black.
Note: All summer products in black are priced as they were at printing on May 17, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Modpools - Shipping Container Swimming Pools
Rather the seal him inside a shipping container bound for Abu Dhabi, why not fill that shipping container with water and let Odie dog paddle around inside it with you this summer? Dig up a big hole in your backyard, and Modpools will drop one of its seafaring transporters inside, all swimming pool pimped out with a heater, jets, and mood lighting you can control right from your smartphone.
Session Goods Designer Pipe
Session Goods makes Designer Pipes to mimic how you feel using them. Sophisticated. Smooth. And, with their limited edition Ash Black release, a little dark and mysterious.
The handheld Designer Pipe boasts Session's trademark modern aesthetic, with a simple, 2.5mm-thick tinted black glass form that tapers into a cone. Perfectly fitted silicone carry sleeves further the pipe's minimalist and discreet look. Session Pipes are designed for at-home and to-go enjoyment alike.
Penny Australia Blackout Skateboard
Call it the poor man's Batmobile. Penny Australia's Skateboards are designed with waffled plastic decks Penny says makes them "the original and the best" for anyone who wants a simple, snazzy, and lightweight board in their collection. The Blackout Board featured here has a 27" deck, with 59mm 83A wheels for a smooth ride.
LAVA ME 2 Carbon Fiber Guitar with Effects
While I can't play a guitar, and know nothing about guitar builds and quality, I do LAVA ME some carbon fiber, and LAVA's LAVA ME 2 unibody guitar is made with Super AirSonic carbon fiber material. And not only to make it look cool.
As with many carbon fiber applications, the LAVA ME 2's Super AirSonic fibers make the guitar ultralight, just 3.7 pounds. Combined with its one-piece injection molded technology, LAVA says the LAVA ME 2 is more comfortable to hold and play than a traditional guitar, but sacrifices none of the acoustics. Good news for restaurant patio musicians, buskers, and dudes trying to use the 4 chords they know to woo the ladies 'round the campfire this summer.
Ka-Bar Tactical Spork
See, it's a fork-spoon combo up top with a...knife!...that pulls out from the handle. And - and! - it's black. Ka-Bar's Tactical Spork is a tactical tool for tactical eating if I've ever seen one. Imagine the stealth and precision with which I'll be able to slice my picnic-in-the-park Twinkies and slurp my campfire Ramen.
C4 Carbon Fiber Diving Fins
C4 makes fins for serious freedivers, spearfishermen, and mermaid cosplayers. And also people who just want to swim really, really fast. The carbon fiber designs tout themselves as key players in more underwater-themed championships and world records than any other fin on the market. C4, an Italian company, is also the largest producer of carbon fiber fins in the world.
Their fins are made of T700 carbon fiber, said to be 40% stronger and more resistant to wear than the T300 strand used in standard carbon fiber fins.
Blackstone Griddle Cooking Station
In addition to being a cool summer product in black, the Blackstone Griddle is also a cool summer option for a Father's Day. You know, just in case you have a cool $400 to spend on a gift for Dad this year...or you still owe your dad for that kind of, uh, uncool fender bender you had with his Mustang your senior year in high school.
The 36" x 21" griddle sits atop a complete cooking station with cantilevered side shelves and a large bottom shelf for food prep and storage. Four independently controlled stainless steel burners light with a push button ignition and output up to 15,000 BTU apiece.
Black Swan Superyacht
In a way it sucks that the Black Swan Superyacht is just a concept right now because that means its technologically-advanced, supremely-luxurious, ninja-shark-looking self doesn't really exist. But in way it's good too because even if Timur Bozca's boner-inducing design were real, I could never afford it, or even afford to set foot on it, so at least as "just a concept," none of the ultrarich d-bags of the world can have it either.
The Decimator Carbon Fiber Pickleball Paddle Set
I cannot say that I've ever played pickleball, but calling this carbon fiber pickleball paddle set "The Decimator" sure makes it sound a lot more formidable than the name "pickleball." Which always just makes me think pickleballs, which makes me think of puckery, shriveled-up testicles, which makes me want to go for a session in my Testicuzzi rather than outside to play a competitive paddle sport.
Blackout Bands - Sleep Mask Sunglasses
I've got a little something for your blazing sun, UV index, and your hangover. Blackout Bands are hyper-tinted sunglasses that block out 95% to 98% of incoming light. Like a sleep mask, but less likely to get your sanity questioned when worn in public. From air travel to beach time, Blackout Bands are designed to take the world away. Use them to grab a nap, nurse a headache, or make talking to an ugly person much more pleasant.
MONOLITH Tent & Hanging Shelter
Be the pillar of your next camping trip with the MONOLITH tent and hanging shelter. Especially if you prefer to sleep alone, or no one wants to share with you after you become Snorey McSnorerson from some expedition whiskey, or Farty McFarterson following the campfire franks & beans. The MONOLITH is a tent built for one.
Sexy obsidian black in color, high-performance and all-season in design, and versatile in setup, maker EXOD created the MONOLITH "to be the most versatile expedition tent to rise above breathtaking landscapes."
Off-Grid Knives Fat Boy Blackout Utility Knife
With an AUS8 Fat Boy from Off-Grid Knives, you'll have a sexy companion to join you in full Blackout Mode this summer.
The Fat Boy Blackout is a utility knife whose stainless steel body is coated with black titanium nitride, aptly abbreviated TiNi to complement the tidy piece of EDC's 2.24" blade. Off-Grid says the Fat Boy's cutting might matches that of a knife 3 times its size.
Heimplanet Black Cairo Camo Cave Tent
Heimplanet developed the original Cave years ago. It was the company's first inflatable tent, one with a standout geodesic dome design whose Inflatable Diamond Grid "exoskeleton" holds the air and allows the tent to pitch in less than a minute with a pump. Individual grid chambers can also be isolated from the rest of the system to ensure continued stability if one is damaged, and make it easier to repair or replace.
The Black Cairo Camo Cave brings a new look to the tent, as well as new possibilities for outdoorsdudes and ladies to become one with their surroundings. It comes with a waterproof Ripstop Polyester flysheet and a breathable Ripstop Nylon inner tent, and has multiple storage compartments.