Bow-Wow, Squeak, Squawk, Meow: 18 Pet Gifts for 2021

"Just text us when you're here. No need to knock and get the dogs involved." Whether you're a pet owner or not, this doormat sends a relatable message. And since anyone who comes over is certainly on their phone right up to the point you open the door anyway, it's probably easier for them to send a text notification of their arrival than to lift a hand to the doorbell or knocker.

The Lilly Brush pet hair remover is named not after the tidy, hairless flower, but a shedding ball of fur and fluff and floof, who herself was (perhaps erroneously) named after the tidy, hairless flower. Lilly was Lilly Brush founder Elsie Hamilton's Australian Shepherd, and the dog who taught her old-school sticky pet hair rollers and velvety scrapers were anything but the cat's meow.

This version of the Lilly Brush is their Mini Pet Remover, a 4" x 3" tool with scraper-style edges and pointed corners strong enough to dig out and ball up embedded dog, cat, rabbit, and snake fur from couches, carpet, clothes, car seats, and any other crevices it nestles into.

Hey, I'm all for antagonizing cats, especially my own feline arch nemesis, Zanzibar, but calling the Nerf Catnip Disc Blaster a cat "toy"? Dudes, check out those catnip discs. Two inches in diameter, and made of what appears to be catnip-laced polyethylene, or whatever the rock hard plastic they also used to make my kitchen cutting board. Now I don't know if that's the catnip discs' true composition or not, it's probably not, but my point is, the Nerf Catnip Disc Blaster looks to blast discs not made of foam, but some compound that could give your cat a serious head injury if one struck home.

Is it a suitcase? Is it a speaker? Is it...Are you kitten me right meow, hooman?! It's a litter box! And not just any litter box. A snazzy, private, MS Modern Cat Litter Box, available in Classic White, Moss Green, Sweet Pink, or, Sassy the Floof's favorite, Tiffany Blue. Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but it takes a purrrdy and purrrsonal poop spot to win the heart of Sassy the Floof.

Pets are the new kids*, so of course there is FOXBOX Pet Safety Car Seat that uses human infant safety system protocols to boost and protect your dog or cat during car rides. Another of course: the FOXBOX Pet Safety Car Seat is a piece of pet gear that costs hundreds of dollars, because smart manufacturers know no price is too high to ensure the safety of your fur baby.

*You're probably wondering, if pets are the new kids, what's the new pets? It's houseplants.

No, it's not a scalped Fraggle, it's the Wooly Snuffle Mat. Here to facilitate one and restrain another of your dog's instilled canine instincts with its shag-rug-on-acid pile.

The feeding mat first ignites a pooch's natural foraging skills. When you place bits of kibble in its deep pasture of soft-woven threads, you'll put your dog's nose and brain on the hunt for food amidst the grass and fields. According to Wooly Snuffle Mat makers, "Engaging your dog in this natural scent-driven scavenger hunt during mealtime makes them happier, healthier, and enriches their day!"

I'd say it also addresses another important doggo instinct, this time putting the kibosh on it: food scarfing. Since dry food or treats are dropped individually between the mat's fibers, your dog won't be able to tear into it like he hasn't eaten since Sunny and Bo were in the White House.

KN95? How about a K995? It's not just the 'rona pet owners might consider a face mask for dogs to protect their pooches from. It's the smoke from forest fires. The construction debris from a kitchen remodel. The pollen in the changing air. The dog's own noxious farts. And maybe the dogs themselves if they tend to eat grass and poop on walks, or get nippy with other dogs and people.

Like getting a second dog, or dropping in for some remote cooing and play on a Petcube, the TREATOI automatic treat ball dispenser is not going to make your pup look less forlorn when you leave the house, or miss you less while you're gone. Dogs' love languages are touch and quality time, just like mine. So don't be thinking you can abandon us with some newfangled gadget and have us feel perfectly content and not depressed in your absence.

If you've got a cat, though, leaving behind a TREATOI filled with balls of catnip and treats, play cloths and LED lights, all scheduled to release automatically at your choice of intervals? You almost don't need to bother ever coming back at all.

You can, of course, also use a TREATOI when you're at home, both to keep your pets busy, and to reward them for engaging in solo play. The dispenser comes with five 2.2" balls that nest inside its housing. Four of the balls are filled with play accessories, such as a rag and a mini-bell, and the fifth is empty so you can add your pet's favorite treat.

Walking Palm Dog Slings are dog carriers that are part purse, part baby sling, and part proof society has truly gone cuckoo for cocoa puff...balls. Snow white, black, beige, merle, and brindle puffballs too. Grown-ass dudes and ladies proudly turning themselves into canine-toting marsupials, and it doesn't even look that out of place. Give it 5 years and I bet we'll see some Walking Palm Palm Slings added to the lineup. Yep, that's right. Crossbody carriers for houseplants.

This Clearview Window Bird Feeder is pretty neat, especially if you've just entered middle age (indicated by your spontaneous need to identify and monitor all birds, squirrels, rabbits, and other fauna that inhabit your yard.) But is it really going to work, installing a wild bird feeder that protrudes into your house between the ledge and glass of your single- or double-hung window?

Probably what would happen if you installed a Clearview Window Bird Feeder is what happens when you install any bird feeder: it would become a Clearview Window Squirrel Feeder.

I'm sure this Dog Harness Hammock is very useful for nail trimming and other grooming tasks, maybe administering medicine or shoving pills down your dog's throat too. Any pet endeavor that requires your dog to remain relatively still, in one place, and easily accessible to you. It's got the same perfectly practical application as The Baby Hanger.

And also like The Baby Hanger, the Dog Harness Hammock has me laughing like a hyena every time I look at it, and saying to myself, "You poor bastard. What did they do to you?" I mean, what are these dogs even hanging from in the promo photos? A curtain rod? If I put my cat Zanzibar in a Dog Harness Hammock with the intention of trimming his nails (and that thought alone - cat, hammock, nail trimming - shudder, is going to give me nightmares) and then hung him from one of our curtain rods, I could hardly even reach him, much less be able to hold him steady and complete a nail-cutting job that requires surgeon-level precision.

The Sycamore Cat Tree is a cat tree indeed. Four stories tall, and built from a real dragonwood tree, Pet Tree Houses handmakes each of their stunning cat towers to order. The leaves are synthetic, made of silk, and the tree trunk is segmented by a bottom base, a top and middle platform, and a middle box. Pet Tree Houses also includes a Sisal Cord Rope scratching post wrapped around one of the 3 trunks the Sycamore Cat Tree grows up and out from.

Aquariums with glowing edges? What voodoo is this? The Voodoo Tank kind.

Voodoo Tanks are slick fish abodes whose seams are lined with a phosphorescent adhesive. Voodoo priests New Wave Aquarium Concepts spent 2 years "mixing and brewing" to develop the glowing neon sealants, and the results are pretty Roy G Biv-elous, especially if your fish are into EDM shows. Or the 80s.