2021 BPM: 17 Fitness Gifts
Merry Christmas, Chubs. Er, I mean, Happy Holidays, you svelte wall of muscle and poster child for athleticism. Here's a fabulous fitness gift to keep you that way.
Or make you that way. Chubs.
Check 'em out, my picks of 17 fitness gifts for 2021.
Note: All 17 fitness gifts are priced as they were at printing on November 29, 2021. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
Fusion Motion Portable Gym
The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram will probably be disappointed to find the Fusion Motion Portable Gym does not leave their hands free to touch-type, plus makes them sweat, breathe hard, and burn in their muscles, thereby delivering a decidedly non-gym-quality workout.
PowerBlock Pro 50 Adjustable Dumbbells
For what you're getting here, the price cannot be beat. These are solid, easily adjustable, and very easy to use. Ranging from 5 to 50 pounds each, look no further for your entire home gym needs than this set of dumbbells.
Balega Blister Resist Socks
Balega socks probably know avid runners and athletes don't let blisters, or the potential for rubbing one into existence, dissuade them from lacing up and taking off. But getting blisters is a pain.
Balega Blister Resist socks come in unisex no-show, quarter, and full crew styles designed specifically to address the blistering nature of our feet inside socks inside shoes on the move. The socks are made with mohair (fancy natural wool) and Drynamix (fancy lab-grown fabric) to keep feet warm in the cold, cool in the hot, and dry and blister-less all the time. Balega says it works because the Drynamix is good at wicking moisture into the mohair, and the mohair is good at retaining it to heat or cool your feet as needed.
Quiet Punch Doorway Boxing Bag
The Quiet Punch doorway boxing bag is a portable piece of fitness equipment suitable for anyone. Pros. Sweat enthusiasts. People who wake up with a wild hair for an ass-whoopin', courtesy of a 12" square bag and the bedroom door frame.
As with the TRX trainer, those with limited space to work out at home or on the road need only a Quiet Punch set and a 28" to 36" doorway to access full cardio and strength-building workouts. The bag - which Quiet Punch notes is really more like a double-end than a heavy bag - installs quick with a pair of lightweight tension rods you wedge into your door frame. It's just as easy to take back down.
Oura Ring Personal Health Tracker
What's your Oura? Welp, according to the personal health tracker Oura Ring, it's tired, inactive, and slow to recover. Oh boy, another gadget to tell you you're doing life all wrong!
Or right, if you're health-conscious and fit, you work out, you get your beauty sleep every night - basically if you're an Oura Ring brown-noser like 90% of the people who will care to own a wearable packed with sensors that provide constant insights into their health.
ChopFit Chopper Functional Trainer
Will you get a load of the legs on ChopFit's Chopper demo dude? Holy functional training axe, Batman, forget ripped, chiseled, and cut! If using the Chopper means I have any hope of building a fortress of muscle like that dude, I'm ready to get Chopped. 2022's gonna be the year of Paul Bunyan quads and hammies, baby!
The ChopFit Chopper is an axe-shaped fitness tool that weighs just 4 pounds - to keep it portable - but uses its unique build and weight distribution to create varying workloads of 6 to 16 pounds, depending on where you grip its handle. That is, the farther away you hold the Chopper from its head, the heavier it feels. ChopFit designed the Chopper as an all-in-one tool for both strength and cardio training.
Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers
3D printed with a 4D midsole. That's the honeycombed core of this year's Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers' story. Made for running, Adidas says the 4DFWD design "redirects energy forward, making your gait feel more like a glide."
Adidas pairs the shoes' unique 3D-printed middle half with a sole and upper more traditional to the brand - a tractioned rubber outsole, and a laced Adidas Primeknit+ with a sock-like fit on top. The 4DFWD sneaks weigh in at an ultralight 11.7-ounces.
Innova Advanced Heat & Massage Inversion Table
Most inversion tables are just low-budget carnival rides that flip you over, or hold you in place anywhere along a 145-degree(ish) path. Innova's "advanced" model adds in a vertical massage and heat pad along your back to provide any muscle tension relief and whole-body relaxation the act of dangling from your feet doesn't accomplish on its own. The massager is mostly just a vibrator for your back, not one of those kneading shiatsu models, but hey, nothing wrong with vibrators.
PIVOT Bed - Convertible Bed & Home Gym
"Pivot" was one of 2020's most pervasive buzzwords. And while Colin and Patricia Montgomery began working on their convertible PIVOT Bed in 2019, and it's now obviously 2021, the transforming bed-to-home-gym still hits us at a time when pandemic pivoting is prevalent in our lives.
Or maybe you don't need to work out from home, you just prefer it. You don't like the vibe at the gym. You don't like taking the time to drive there. You went on a few dates with someone you met at the leg press machine, and then you ghosted them / they ghosted you, and now you don't want to risk an encounter. The PIVOT Bed is for you too.
MonkeyFeet - Lift Dumbbells with Your Feet
Know what MonkeyFeet mean? No more sticking that dumbbell in your sweaty knee crease to do some donkey kicks and fire hydrants. The ability to do ham curls and weighted leg extensions without fancy gym machines. With nary more than a dumbbell or two, in fact. Oh, and you think MonkeyFeet enabling you to attach and lift dumbbells with your feet means you can't lift heavy on leg day? Nope! Each MonkeyFoot can support a dumbbell of up to 160 pounds! Woo-hoo!
Let the excuses end, and the torture begin.
Cryosleeve BOA Compression Ice Sleeve
It sounds fancy, but Cryosleeve maker Recoup is quick to point out that the combination of "cryotherapy" and "compression" their pain and inflammation tool provides is really just a nice mix of ice and squeezing tight.
The Cryosleeve pairs a freezable, 360-degree icing sleeve with an adjustable BOA system to address injuries and discomfort in the elbows, knees, forearms, and shins. The sleeve configuration allows for icing without holding down an ice pack or fiddling with an ace bandage, and Recoup says once the Cryosleeve is fully frozen, it will emanate its chill into your selected body part for up to an hour.
VersaLifts V2 Heel Lift Inserts
VersaLifts V2 Heel Lifts aren't here to help you get higher, the athletic shoe inserts are here to help you get lower. Made for people who want to squat deep, but have limited ankle mobility (yes, apparently there is a critical mass of that very specific group of people out there) VersaLifts V2s are designed to elevate the heels and, in turn, increase the heel-to-toe drop by 1/2". The result is a "drastically improved" squat in terms of movement pattern, positioning, and depth.
Bike Frame Sweat Net for Indoor Cycling
The Bicycle Trainer Sweat Net from RockBros looks kind of like a diaper for your Peloton, bike trainer, or other stationary exercise bike. Except rather than keeping the bike's unsavory fluids in, the Sweat Net is designed to keep your unsavory fluids out.
You know how you're supposed to wipe down your trainer / stationary bike and the areas surrounding it after every use? Well, you don't, do you? It's cool. I don't either. I do put a towel under my Peloton, but I can see how a Sweat Net would be doubly beneficial. I also see, in looking at it more, that the Sweat net doesn't just resemble a diaper, but a mankini! Even more reason to get one!
RENPHO Smart Body Measuring Tape
The RENPHO Smart Body Measuring Tape reminds me of the fitness tests I used to have to take each year during elementary school PE. A timed mile run. Pullups. The Sit & Reach box o' flexibility. And the...for lack of knowing what it was really called...the Fat Test. Wherein Coach Kaufman would literally grab a hunk of fat from everyone's calf underarm area, stick it in a pair of tweezy calipers, and record the measurements. Presumably of the fat's thickness.
I think that Fat Test, and all the other fitness tests in the batch, were deemed - to put it mildly - not very sportsmanlike shortly after I graduated from elementary school, but here with the RENPHO Smart Body Measuring Tape the memories come rushing back. Along with the opportunity to measure precisely hot fat I am once again.
Bodyweight Exercise Cards
Even if you don't have a lot of workout space in your home, I'll be you have room for these 2 things: a deck of cards; and your body. Bodyweight Exercise Cards invite you to hit the deck with mix-and-match fitness sessions you can assemble using the 50 exercises they divvy between 50 supersized playing cards.
Cubii JR Seated Under Desk Elliptical Machine
The Cubii JR, an under-desk elliptical machine you can use while seated, merges work from home with workout from home, and makes the whole WFH phenomenon:
A. Even better than it was before!
B. Even worse than it was before!
C. Wait, you still sit in a desk chair that allows your feet to touch the floor? That is so 2010s. The 2020s are all about criss-cross-applesaucin' through your workday in a Soul Seat.
Star Trek: Body by Starfleet: A Fitness Guide
Are you bold enough to go to Vulcan Side Planks and Cardassian Neck Tricks? Star Trek: Body by Starfleet: A Fitness Guide is probably the most fun parody book of a popular franchise I've seen since Darth Vader and Son.
Combining some of the most popular elements of 5 decades' worth of Star Trek with a catalogue of 30+ body-burning exercises and stretches Star Trek's biggest fans probably hate big-time, the fitness companion provides simple, easy-to-follow instructions for each move alongside a Starfleet member acting them out for you.