14 Gifts for College Graduates
Normally, I wouldn't spout off about gifts for college graduates, because, hey, first lesson in adult life: you don't deserve gifts and rewards for doing what you're supposed to, i.e., not wasting the thousands and thousands of dollars spent on your education dropping out, flunking out, or otherwise not graduating.
But perhaps my 40s have made me a kinder, gentler dude, more sympathetic to today's youth. Or maybe the current socioeconomic climate and pending doom of AIs taking over the world just make me realize college graduates have nothing whatsoever to look forward to in life, so a set of mezcal glasses, some futuristic earbuds, and a new comforter might be the only things their diplomas ever get them.
Note: All college graduate gifts are priced as they were at printing on May 17, 2023. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
NReal Air AR Glasses
They're not unreal, they're NReal. They're not virtual reality, they're augmented reality. NReal Air AR Glasses aren't a bunch of fake shit, they're a bunch of real shit...with a bunch of fake shit sprinkled in to make them better, and also to make you question what's real and what's fake. Like pretty much everything else in life right now.
No, wait, that's a dark path to travel down, and truly not where I want to lead you in discussing NReal Air AR Glasses, which are actually all about the light. Light in the form of technicolor, cinema-grade viewing experiences with their 130" Full HD display in Air Casting Mode, or 201" Full HD display and real world augmentations in Air AR Space mode.
Microwave Rice Cooker Mug
This microwaveable Rice Cooker Mug is a terrific idea for people who want just a single serving of rice, and don't want to spend the time cooking it on the stovetop. Or buy an electric rice cooker. Or use pre-cooked frozen rice. Or just order a takeout box from the Chinese place up the street. Lot of options for rice acquisition these days.
If it works, though, this mug is a much cheaper, less labor-intensive, and/or less dish-dirtying option, especially if you just need a quick coupla cups of rice for dinner. ... Because you're a college graduate with no job prospects, and that's all you can afford.
Lift Laptop Stand & Whiteboard
Need a Lift to work? The Lift 2-in-1 laptop stand and whiteboard raises your laptop to a better ergonomic position for screen-staring, plus incorporates a dry erase board you can use to take notes and write reminders without clicking away to a new doc. It's no more neck strain meets no more interrupting the flow of the brilliance you're typing.
Or the entrancement of the TikTok you're scrolling, as it were.
Ship in a Bottle Whiskey Decanter & Dispenser
I don't care how they got this ship in the bottle as long as I know how to get the booze it's sailing through out. A wood base handcrafted in Kentucky serves as a classy pedestal to the mounted glass whiskey decanter and dispenser, set off even further by a hand-etched ship built into the barrel's center.
REST Evercool Cooling Comforter for Hot Sleepers
REST sews their Evercool cooling comforters with a double-sided cooling fabric, made mostly of ultrafine nylon yard, but blended with some Spandex. They say it dissipates heat 10 times faster than cotton, cooling you down instantly, and remaining cool to the touch throughout the night. And if you do sweat, the Evercool is designed to wick it away, remaining dry across the surface that touches your skin.
Since the fabric used for the Evercool Comforter's technical performance is 90 times thinner than a human hair, REST says it, combined with its fluffy Sorona filling between the layers, feels like a "snuggly, buttery, softer-than-cashmere comforter." The blanket is also machine washable.
Nothing Ear (2) Wireless Earbuds
The The gift of Nothing. Perfect for the college grad who barely made it.
But the gift of Nothing Ear (2) Wireless Earbuds? That dude or lady better have some sort of cum laude on their diploma.
The "nothing" part of Nothing Ear (2) Earbuds refers a little to their transparent shell, and a lot to their weight - a mere 0.16 ounces. The Ear (2) has an 11.6mm custom speaker driver and active noise canceling abilities. It uses Clear Voice Technology and 3 HD mics for phone calls, with algorithms in place to isolate and amplify your voice for clarity and accuracy, even when you're walking in the wind, or breathing heavy. You ol' mouth breather, you.
The earbuds should also hold their charge for up to 36 hours of listening, which is about 34 hours longer than my stinkin' AirPods.
Brava Light-Powered Smart Oven
A home-cooked meal, ahhh. Brava! It's delicious, from the heart, and probably way healthier than anything you would eat out. ... Unless it's burnt. Or takes so long to cook you give up and order takeout halfway through. Or produces so many dirty dishes you swear never to do it again. In that case, Brava! The smart oven that promises to revolutionize the way you cook, and prepare restaurant-quality meals with...some lamps.
The Brava is built with 6 cylindrical light bulbs, 3 on the top and 3 on the bottom, the company says ignite to "searing-hot heat energy," and begin cooking your food, the moment you turn them on. With no preheat required, and pulses of light cooking food at controlled maximum heats, meals will be ready in far less time, and without risk of overcooking. Further, each lamp column on the Brava represents its own zone, so the oven can cook 3 different ingredients / foods on the same tray to different donenesses simultaneously.
Historically Modern Designs Tequila & Mezcal Glasses
Historically Modern Designs doesn't make tequila and mezcal glasses that look like your typical tequila and mezcal glasses, but they say their squat, wide-mouthed tumblers are in fact more authentic than the barware we'd normally use to sip a fine barrel-aged agave. Sold in sets of two, these glasses are inspired by the original design of the Mexican Copitas.
The shallow bowl design, paired with a wide glass rim, allows you to drink your tequila / mezcal closer to your nose, creating a higher sensory tasting experience without the concentration of alcohol vapors that might make you wince or sneeze. Historically Modern Designs hand-blows the glasses and gives them their own touch with a monogrammed bottom.
Bulova Computron D-Cave Watch
What NFTime is it? It's Bulova Computron D-Cave Watch time. Physical meets Metaverse in watchmaker Bulova's retro-futuristic collaboration with digital cultural space D-Cave, resulting in a timepiece that pays tribute to its 1970s predecessor, while upping the style and tech ante for watch enthusiasts and gamers today.
Bulova's reinterpretation of the Computron for D-Cave adds visual elements inspired by the gaming world, including a matte black IP stainless steel case, luminous green accents, a green LED time display, and a black silicone strap.
The new Computron D-Cave also adds virtual elements to the watch's ownership, with an NFT Special Edition model that will give D-Cave users access to the watch in Decentraland, as a wearable version for their avatars.
Brompton A Line Folding Bike
The Brompton A Line Folding Bike has nailed it. That's exactly what I want to do at work all day too: curl up in the fetal position under my desk until it's time to go home. At which point I will unfurl like a beautiful spring butterfly with two wheels and 3-hub gears, and pedal myself the hell out of there.
Brompton's new A Line is a city commuter bicycle tuned to help you make a B-line to your destinations around town. Its star feature is a 3-part fold that collapses the bike down to 25.3" x 23" x 10.6" for easy storage when you get there. Also, total weight is just 25.3 pounds, so carrying the A Line is manageable if you have to deal with stairs or people getting persnickety about bikes being wheeled around indoors.
Seagate Lightsaber Collection FireCuda SSD
Bwoooaaahhhzzzzz! Zzzhhwooom! That's the hum of a Seagate Lightsaber Collection FireCuda SSD igniting, and thrashing up to 7300MB/s of Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, or Obi-Wan Kenobi-backed speed at your PC.
A Special Edition and officially licensed piece of Star Wars merch, Seagate's Lightsaber Collection FireCuda PCIe Gen4 NVMe SSD launches with 3 iconic lightsaber faceplates, and RGB lighting to bring "a galaxy of atmosphere to your drive." Even better, the faceplates are swappable, and the lighting customizable, so you switch between the Light Side and the Dark Side, the old wise ones and the young whippersnapper, according to your mood. That is, according to how you've fared in your work, gaming, and online dating lives that day.
The Money Cake - Cash-Filled Cake Topper
A fat wad of dough in your graduation cake might not sound appealing at first. But if we're talking double chocolate fudge filled with nuggets of suspended double chocolate cookie dough, or as we see here, a frosted treat whose secret center holds a pull-out garland of 50 bills o' cash, well. That kind of dough cake would be money. Or, in the case of the latter, a Money Cake.
For graduations, or any cake-worthy event, Money Cake kits provide a way to spruce up the celebratory centerpiece, and deliver a surprise gift that creates a fun spectacle for the honoree and guests alike. The plastic boxes store spools of 50 connected pockets, each sized to hold pieces of paper currency, special messages, or perhaps, if you're going to Money Cake up a gift for a man like myself, coupons for special favors.
Tasty Adulting: All Your Faves, All Grown Up Cookbook
Tasty Adulting. No, it has nothing to do with dating apps or hookups, DMs or dick pics. It's a cookbook with recipes tailored to young cooks, maybe a housewarming gift for recent graduates who just moved into the first place of their o- what's that? You never thought Tasty Adulting carried a carnal connotation in the first place? Come on. Yeah you did. Tasty Adulting screams scrolling through or scanning the room for dudes and ladies like ice cream flavors. Finding a few whose sight makes your mouth water, who you'd like to taste in your sexy adulting endeavors, and approach accordingly.
Alright then, play puritanical. Say it's just me. But remember, it will also be just me who gets all the fame and riches for starting a dating app called Tasty Adulting.
Flying Saucer Hanging Hammock Chair
Come on, they've earned it, haven't they?
The Flying Saucer Hanging Hammock Chair is made of washable, UV-protected mesh fabric cut to about 6' in diameter. It comes with 26' of heavy duty rope for hanging, or you can buy a separate stand for indoor setup.