The Homer Car

Posted: June 29, 2013

Homer Simpson, at the behest of Herb, who felt his company needed a vehicle that would entice the "average" American, once designed a car encompassing the precise attributes he himself wanted atop 4 wheels. The result: The Homer. A fine piece of eat-my-dust that included:

  • 2 bubble domes, one for the driver and front passenger, and another for spazzing kids in the back. Also has optional restraints and muzzles.
  • An engine that causes others to think "the world's coming to an end."
  • 3 horns, each of which plays "La Cucaracha," to ensure you can find one to blare when you're mad.
  • Oversized cupholders to accommodate the 64-ounce slurpies and sodies Americans suck on to amplify their road rage.
  • Flourishes serving mainly aesthetic purposes, such as shag carpeting, tailfins, and a metal bowler hood ornament.

Ultimately, The Homer on The Simpsons cost so much to produce that it drove Herb's car company to bankruptcy. It was bought and replaced by Komatsu Motors. The lesson The Homer taught us: what the "average" American wants is so exorbitantly expensive and cost-prohibitive to the manufacturer that it puts US-based operations out of business and allows them to be purchased by the Japanese. Or, in current times, supplanted by those from China. See, greedy Americans, you bring it on yourselves.

The Homer Car pictured here, though, was built on the cheap. In fact, cheap was a prerequisite for its real-life manifestation, spearheaded by Scott Chamberlain, Kris Linquist, Reid Conti, Ben Reilly, Mike Yepes, and Jeff Hermann for the 24 Hours of LeMons race. America's LeMons is a parody on the original, internationally renowned 24-hour car race in Le Mans, France. It's a series of endurance competitions set on paved roads across the country at different times of the year. LeMons, or lemons, stems from the race's provision that no car competing may cost more than $500. The event also distinguishes itself by way of a penalty and punishment system called The Wheel of Misfortune. Depending on the offense, judges might weld metal structures in F'd up shapes to a car's roof to increase drag, or force its drivers to perform physical challenges.

Track The Homer live--probably making insightful commentary from a barely moving and low-riding position--during the 24 Hours of LeMons' Buttonwillow, CA leg, which starts today, June 29, 2013 here.

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